A person so mentally, socially, or emotionally lame that they are unable or afraid to attend even basic social functions. They tend to provide very weak excuses for their antisocial behavior. They also tend to be weak-willed, spineless, dweeby suck-ups.
Sumon: I can't go to the lunch to honor Nicole, I have to talk to my boss.
Steve: You luzer, she was counting on you being there!
The painful but somewhat stimulating anal sensation you experience the morning after eating too many of the hottest buffalo wings the bar offers (e.g., BWW's Blazers). Some Indian food can have the same effect but usually it is only from some very irresponsible sadistic joker.
Steve: "Try these wings, they burn more coming out than going in."
Joe: "meh, they're not so bad but I can tell from the smell that they prolly are morning afterburners."