Led Zeppole's definitions

shave it

A common 21st century request women get from their men.

See also wood floor.

You: Hey, honey, it would be a major turn on if you shave it.

Her: Shave what?

You: You know what...

by Led Zeppole November 12, 2003

jacktation

When a woman masturbates a man's penis with her breasts. (derived from the word "lactation," when a woman secretes milk from her breasts.)

Rick was tired of handjobs, so Barb got him off with jacktation instead.

by Led Zeppole September 30, 2003

hit me back

What a masochist says to someone named Back.

Hit me, Back! Ooh, yeah, baby!

by Led Zeppole September 30, 2003

Absecon sleighride

To fall down a very, VERY steep staircase (also known as a ladder), ideally landing hard on your tail bone. Named after Absecon, New Jersey, home of the world's steepest and most dangerous staircases.

On Monday morning, I slipped and took an Absecon sleighride down the stairs.

by Led Zeppole October 11, 2003

menstrosexual

A man who enjoys having sex with a woman during her period. A play on the word metrosexual.

Al's a damn menstrosexual, he told me he did his girlfriend when she was on the rag.

by Led Zeppole October 1, 2003

jack into the Matrix

Sexual intercourse.

Guy 1: So did you hook up with Beth?

Guy 2: Hell, yeah, we made out then she let me jack into the Matrix.

by Led Zeppole November 3, 2003

oxycotton

1. A highly addictive natural fiber, once grown in enormous quantities on vast plantations in the pre-Civil War South.

2. It's "OxyContin," you idiot...

Drug lords have found a brilliant way to get Americans of all ages addicted to oxycotton; spin it into threads and use it to manufacture comfortable shirts and blouses!

by Led Zeppole October 2, 2004