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22 definitions by Lady Pain

 
1.
1. A truly great rock band, they've released some of the best records of our time
2. A man who pours his heart into his music, and happens to have opinions other than the mainstream, so he is victimized
3. The most misunderstood person on the face of the earth.
4. The most convenient person for conservatives to blame when something goes wrong
1. A really good Marilyn Manson song is "The Last Day On Earth".
2. Marilyn Manson is smarter than you.
3. People don't like Marilyn Manson because they don't take the time to consider that he, too, is human and has feelings. All they see is his dissent from the socially accepted, which many view as wrong.
4. Right-wing Politician: Marilyn Manson caused Columbine, 9/11, the Holocaust, the Cold War, Laci Peterson's death, and the Trojan War.
Someone Intelligent: No, he didn't.
Right-wing Politician: You are the Antichrist.
by Lady Pain February 28, 2005
 
2.
Proof that Darwin's theory of evolution can also go backwards.
"It's important for people to know that I'm the president of everybody."
"If you see a train wreck coming, you ought to be saying, what are you going to do about it, Mr. Congressman, or Madam Congressman?"
"We want results in every single classroom so that one single child is left behind."
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
by Lady Pain March 04, 2005
 
3.
One of those words you can use in any situation. In any conversation AT ALL, you can just pop in and say "damn," and people will know exactly what you're talking about.

1. An expression of dismay.
2. An expression of awe.
3. "Giving a damn", the act of caring about something.
4. The act of condemning someone, most often to hell or an equivalent place.
5. "Damn you", a verbal middle finger equivalent to "go to hell".
6. An expression of surprise.
7. "Damn well", a sort of sentence enhancer, most often used with the word "better".
8. An adjective you can stick before phrases like "near" and "close to" to raise the sentence's severity.
9. An exclamation interchangeable with "Wow".
10. An adjective you can stick in front of absolutely any noun to add a feeling of stigma to your sentence.
1. You lost your keys? Damn.
2. DAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNN she's hot!
3. I don't give a damn what you think!
4. You will be damned for doing that.
5. You're so rude! Damn you!
6. Person 1: *sneaking up behind Person 2* BOO!
Person 2: DAMN!!
7. You better damn well lock that door!
8. I was damn close to hitting that car!
9. Damn, that certainly is a colorful shirt.
10. That damn teacher gave us another pop quiz.
by Lady Pain March 03, 2005
 
4.
Completely and utterly without merit. A news station that not only presents the most wildly conservative of biases with the slogan "Fair and Balanced," but also presents worse television than Jerry Springer. I am NOT watching the news to see Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly scream "SHUT UP!" at every single guest they have.
The usual transcript of The O'Reilly Factor:
O'Reilly: Today, America, we're here with Al Franken and Alan Colmes. I don't have backup because I'm a pompous idiot who thinks I own the world.
Franken: You got the first part right.
Colmes: *giggle*
O'Reilly: Shut up, both of you. Now, onto our discussion. Today we are presenting the fact that all Muslims are evil.
Colmes: No, Bill, you can't--
O'Reilly: Shut up! It's--
Franken: Bill, that's wrong because--
O'Reilly: Shut up, shut up!
Franken: You're being completely unreasonable, and if you'll listen, I'll tell you why! It's not po--
O'Reilly: SHUT UP!
Colmes: God, this sucks. *walks off set*
O'Reilly: One less opponent for me.
Franken: Now do I get a chance to prove my point?
O'Reilly: No, we're going to a commercial.
Franken: No, we can't go to a commercial because you presented a completely innacurate stereotype and are attacking one of the most--
O'Reilly: SHUT UP NOW, YOU IDIOT! You're wrong, I'm right, what more is there to say?!
Franken: NO! We CANNOT go to a COMMERCIAL because--
*commercial*
by Lady Pain March 07, 2005
 
5.
A former SNL writer, now a liberal author famous for his heartfelt honesty, sparkling wit, disturbingly handsome face (in my opinion), and charming--if sometimes a bit overbearing--conduct during battles with Bill O'Reilly and the rest of the uber-conservative crew.
"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: Precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from."

"If you listen to a lot of conservatives, they'll tell you that the difference between
them and us is that conservatives love America and liberals hate America.... They don't
get it. We love America just as much as they do. But in a different Way. You see, they
love America the way a 4-year-old loves her Mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups.


To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is
bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad,
and helping your loved one grow. Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world."
by Lady Pain March 07, 2005
 
6.
The accent, slang, and verbal shorthand of someone born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. One of the most annoying dialects on the face of the earth. Pittsburghese comes in part from speaking more quickly than normal, producing slurs such as the infamous "Jeet jet?"
Some butcherings of people's names:
Anthony = An-duh-nee
Aphrotide = Aff-ur-die-tee or Aff-ur-dyte
Barb = Boorb
Bonnie = Bwaw-nee
Carol = Curl
Cheryl = Surl
Don = Dawn
Jennifer = Jinn-uh-fur
Lawrence = Lah-rinse
Lemieux (as in the beloved Pittsburgher Mario Lemieux) = Lah-muu
Terry = Teary

Some butcherings of regular words:
Acoustic = Ah-cue-stick
Afghan = Af-uh-gahn
Aluminum = Al-oo-num-in
Arthritis = Arth-er-eye-tis
Beautiful = Byew-dee-fuhl
Breakfast = Breff-iss
Downtown = Dahn-tahn
Doughnut = Doe-nit
Error = Ear
Field = Filld
Flexible = Flex-uh-kul
Garage = Gaarj
Hour = Ahr
House = Hahs
Ignorant = Ig-nurnt
Interesting = In-ur-es-tin
Lousy = Lah-see
Legal = Liggle
Natural = Nachurl
Out = Aht
Pretty = Priddy
Quart = Coort
Refridgerator = Frige-dare
Regular = Reg-uh-lur
Steelers = Stillers
Technical = Tet-ni-kal
Wash = Worsh
You = Yinz

Some words that don't exist outside of Pittsburgh:
Abeast--Slang for "fat", probably derives from "obese"
Allergayney Whitefish--This is what we say when we see a condom floating down any river, particularly the Allegheny
Aloose--Untied
Ascared--To be afraid of something
Babushka--Scarf worn on the head to keep "aht" the cold
Bitzle--Dirt particle
Bumbershoot--An umbrella
Burm--Side, usually of a road
Cawnur Lady--Prostitute
Chipped-chopped or Chipchop--Very thinly sliced, usually pertaining to meat
Cucky or Cucka-cucka--Revolting; can also refer to a gooey substance
Flustrated--Not just flustered, not just frustrated, but a happy marriage of the two.
Grinny--A chipmunk
Gum--Elastic
Gummyband or Gumband--Rubber band
Gutcheez n'at--Underwear
Heinz 57--Mutt dog
Hunky-doory--Fine
Jaggy--Crazy
Jagoff--Jerk
Jigunda--Large
Jimmies--Sprinkles
Nebbynose or Nebnose--A nosy person
Slippy--Slippery
Sucko--Bad
Zaksame--Exactly the same

Finally, some phrases:
"What kinna birrisat?" = "What kind of beer is that?"
"Brinnit dahn a thahsan!" = "Bring it down a thousand!" (meaning "Quiet down")
"Kinnywood's open!" = "The fly on your pants is unzipped."
"Oh mi-lawndry" = "Oh my gosh!"
"A whole nuther mahl" = "Another mile"
"Airyago!" = "There you go."
"Yinz guys getcher bess sleep onna Serta? Tony's gawddit!" = "You get your best sleep on a Serta mattress? Tony's got it a local mattress slogan!"
"Buy Saym a drink, and gettis dog one too!" = "Wow, what a great goal sports!"
"Gawrsh, it's coledoutdair!" = "Gosh, it's cols out there!"
by Lady Pain March 05, 2005
 
7.
The kind of band that can lift you up when you listen to them. I can't help but smile when I listen to a Cure song. Especially "Inbetween Days"... *sigh*

Oh, and Robert Smith...*deeper sigh*
You need to listen to the Cure.
by Lady Pain March 06, 2005