53 definitions by Lârry Dângüs, esq.

This term describes the 'all-the-way-forward' handlebar position most commonly seen on BMX bikes in urban areas of the United States.

Rather than having the handlebars in a vertical position (as the more practical BMX riders tend to do), the individual who chooses the 'chicago' position instead prefers to lay his or her handlebars all the way forward in an attempt to do any or all of the following things:

1. Allow more knee room on a bike which is far too short for them, possibly because they are a 7-foot tall, 52 year old alcoholic who is riding their grandchild's Wal-Mart bike to the beer store at dawn on a Monday

2. Look 'cool' on an overly small bicycle, which is near-impossible, especially when the rider is visibly frustrated by this situation, and having apparent difficulty controlling said bike.

3. Create the illusion of having a 'low rider' bike, but without making any actual low rider modifications.

All chicago bars ever did was make BMX bikes harder to ride, and cause an untold number of unnecessary faceplants in the ghetto, and under certain circumstances, they may even alert the police to possible cracktivities in the area, due to the obvious fucktardation on the part of these clueless bike riders.
Hahaha! Did you see that guy with his bars almost rubbing the front tire? WTF?

Yes I did; that's because we're in the hood. Now stop sweating that chump's chicago bars and tell that baby on the corner to stop selling weed.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. March 22, 2010
Get the chicago bars mug.
An allegedly humorous declaration one might use in response to being questioned as to the accuracy of their information and/or its source. It is a reference to the phrase don't tase me, bro, as well as the snopes website.

Don't believe everything you read on Snopes, bro...especially if it's about the activities of the CIA, the events of 9/11 or any sexually perverted acts performed by the band 311; they really do rape babies while wearing horse masks. However, if you are trying to discover the truth behind some ridiculous urban legend, such as Rod Stewart drinking gallons of semen or Richard Gere taking a panicky trip to the ER after shoving gerbils up his booty hole, snopes can actually be a semi-decent reference tool. Remember: the less important the information you seek, the less likely snopes will lie to you about it.
Person A

Have you heard why people in the ghetto wear their pants hanging halfway down their asscracks? It started in men's prisons, you see, the 'bitches' use this fashion statement to signal that they are available for getting their a-holes harpooned! (contemptuous laughter)

Isn't that FUNNY?

Person B

That's not true,

Person A

don't Snopes me, bro!

Person B

(ignoring the outburst) ....although the sagging pants fashion trend did originate in prison. In US correctional facilities, inmates of both genders are often issued pants which are too big for them. Since belts are not allowed, they spend every standing moment 'hitching' their pants back up by hand or either letting them drop. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 9, 2013
Get the don't Snopes me, bro! mug.
The nekkade is a decade performed in the nude. This is a freestyle bike trick invented by hecKtor Dangus during the summer of 2009.

For video documentation, Google search the word 'nekkade'.

Do it for the lulz.
Cops to Dangus : "That nekkade was truly incredible, but we're going to have to ask you to put some pants on, sir."

Dangus to cops : "I bet you guys listen to 311".
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 24, 2009
Get the nekkade mug.
v. - monkey vining is the act of transitioning from one relationship to another by retaining some form of connection to both people simultaneously. Only when the new relationship is reasonably solidified is the former one wholly released.

To grasp the metaphor of the monkey vine in its entirety, one may simply visualize the mode of transport utilized by Tarzan and his jungle primate colleagues in old movies. The vine that is being swung on is firmly held until another vine is being grasped, or at least is easily reachable.
person one:

Hey man, do you think Brad Pitt was monkey vining from Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie?

person two:

Actually dude, I don't give a shit about what's happening in the love lives of these celebrities. 9/11 was an inside job, and fluoride is making Americans stupid. Maybe you should monkey vine your ass from US Weekly to some web sites that will enlighten your ass on things that are truly relevant to our lives!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 11, 2008
Get the monkey vining mug.