53 definitions by Lârry Dângüs, esq.
The liquid contained by the urinary bladder of many terrestrial animals, also known as pee-pee, piss, whiz or number one. In mammals, this liquid is frequently pungent and colored some shade of yellow. Bladder juice can be recycled as a beverage in states of dire emergency, and also for the lulz.
Sometimes when I'm suffering from cotton mouth while taking a piss, I will direct the whiz stream up to my pie hole and take a few sips of my delicious bladder juice.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 17, 2014
Activities which are routinely associated with the sale and use of crack cocaine. Cracktivities are normally characterized by the desperate style with which they are executed. Cracktivities often include (but are not limited to) such things as:
1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.
2. the typical smash and grab.
3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.
4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.
5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).
6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.
1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.
2. the typical smash and grab.
3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.
4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.
5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).
6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.
When passing through the city of Memphis, it is highly advisable to keep one's car windows rolled up and avoid stopping if at all possible. This will minimize the likelihood of your becoming entangled with the inevitably omnipresent cracktivities.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. September 21, 2008
Xanaps
The brief but heavy periods of sleep which commonly accompany the use of the benzodiazepine alprazolam, a.k.a. Xanax.
If you don't get much sleep at night and decide to take a little Xanax the next day to 'relax', you can expect to be taking a Xanap very shortly afterwards.
Often employed by white hats of low moral fortitude to get into the pants of unsuspecting young women. These men, incidentally, should be killed with anthrax for their utter fucktardation.
The brief but heavy periods of sleep which commonly accompany the use of the benzodiazepine alprazolam, a.k.a. Xanax.
If you don't get much sleep at night and decide to take a little Xanax the next day to 'relax', you can expect to be taking a Xanap very shortly afterwards.
Often employed by white hats of low moral fortitude to get into the pants of unsuspecting young women. These men, incidentally, should be killed with anthrax for their utter fucktardation.
Frat Boy A: Dude, what happened to those chicks we brought home from the bar?
Frat Boy B: They're still in the car taking Xanaps, you sneaky serial date rapist, you!
(high five, followed by unrequited homosexual thoughts)
Frat Boy B: They're still in the car taking Xanaps, you sneaky serial date rapist, you!
(high five, followed by unrequited homosexual thoughts)
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 29, 2009
having gone beyond the first piss while consuming alcohol or some other beverage which has a diuretic effect. Once the seal has been broken, frequent visits to the bathroom will usually be forthcoming.
Wino #1:
"hey, what happened to you at Dangus' party the other night? I thought you were gonna stay and chill with us!"
Wino #2:
"Yeah that WAS the plan, but some asshat got me locked into a full-on hostage crisis and I started swigging on some drank. After a while I had to take a leak, but you know how that shit just keeps coming once you start, so I resisted. Well once the purple stuff was cashed, I did a few kegstands and rolled up into the john to take a monster whiz, but someone was passed out on the throne so I broke the seal in the bathtub.
After that, I had to see what kind of fucktardation was going down at my homeboy's sketch pad. As I might have guessed, they were licking psychedelic toads, dealing laser-guided tridents and pimping gay male midget prostitutes...awesome! But yeah, I must have pissed like 90 more times...because I broke the seal. Is that explanatory and redundant enough for you?!? Jesus, I need a drank!
"hey, what happened to you at Dangus' party the other night? I thought you were gonna stay and chill with us!"
Wino #2:
"Yeah that WAS the plan, but some asshat got me locked into a full-on hostage crisis and I started swigging on some drank. After a while I had to take a leak, but you know how that shit just keeps coming once you start, so I resisted. Well once the purple stuff was cashed, I did a few kegstands and rolled up into the john to take a monster whiz, but someone was passed out on the throne so I broke the seal in the bathtub.
After that, I had to see what kind of fucktardation was going down at my homeboy's sketch pad. As I might have guessed, they were licking psychedelic toads, dealing laser-guided tridents and pimping gay male midget prostitutes...awesome! But yeah, I must have pissed like 90 more times...because I broke the seal. Is that explanatory and redundant enough for you?!? Jesus, I need a drank!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 12, 2008
A spousal eunuch is virtually identical to the 'spousal unit', but without the sex. Unlike ordinary eunuchs, spousal eunuchs usually have existing and potentially functional genitalia, but have stopped fucking their significant other for reasons which do not pertain to physical endowment.
I've been banging this married chick because her spousal eunuch can't get a boner without first being subjected to sexual domination. How refreshing it must be for her to get laid by a dude who doesn't have a ball gag lodged in his cake hole!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 20, 2010
The mustache of a cunnilingus aficionado. Generally bushy, and smelling slightly of poon juice, thereby offering a lingering olfactory reward to the twat broom's owner.
Dude, how can you rock that twat broom, when it totally interferes with your consumption of the david lee roth?
The twat broom requires some sacrifices, but also offers certain rewards that defy description in polite society.
You mean like how your face always smells like a pussy?
Exactly!
The twat broom requires some sacrifices, but also offers certain rewards that defy description in polite society.
You mean like how your face always smells like a pussy?
Exactly!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 13, 2010
Dude, stop calling my celly asking me for Xanax! Don't you know the fucking pigs are tapping my phone? Next time, just say you need to hang out with anna nicole smith, ya doofus. Save that overly obvious telephone terminology for when you're calling a sketch pad.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 22, 2009