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3 definitions by JustSayNoToCheatingAssWipe

 
1.
Jewelry bought by husbands to appease their angry wives. Usually, the anger concerns extramarital skank diddling on the side. In normal households, a gift of jewelry like this would solve nothing; it would be seen as the empty and loveless gesture that it is. However, in the lives of the rich and famous, empty materialism covers all sins and fixes all problems because they have no souls.

Also known as a "house on a finger" when the jewelry in question is an outrageously expensive ring.

Named after the Kobe Bryant episode in which he bought his wife a house on a finger to appease her anger over his raping a hotel skank.
house on a finger tiger woods kobe bryant materialism dead marriages

(Speaking to his friend on the phone following an argument with his wife over his mistress):

Tiger Woods: I need to run down to Zale's and buy a Kobe Special.
by JustSayNoToCheatingAssWipe November 30, 2009
 
2.
A very large, very expensive ring bought for one's wife as a bribe. The ring makes the statement, "I've cheated on you, but you and I both know that I can buy your forgiveness because we are both shallow fucks."
Kobe Bryant: Here, baby...I hope this house on a finger makes up for the fact that I forced anal sex on a hotel worker and violated our marriage vows all in the same stroke.

(OR)

Tiger Woods: Here baby...I hope this house on a finger makes up for all the skank tapping I've been doing lately. Please don't beat my ass with a golf club anymore...
by justsaynotocheatingasswipe November 30, 2009
 
3.
The title of the paperback book found on the front driver's side floor of Tiger Wood's Cadillac, following his car crash into a fire hydrant.
Tiger's wife read "Get a Grip on Physics," and learned about energy, force, matter, and how these principles apply to the golf club she used to beat his ass.
by JustSayNoToCheatingAssWipe December 02, 2009