Joreth's definitions
Don't Ask Don't Tell -
1) The Don't Ask Don't Tell policy in the US military, in which homosexuality was to be overlooked as long as no one asked about it and it wasn't obvious or wasn't revealed in any manner. It was intended to give gay members of the military some freedom from persecution, but has, in practice, forced gay people into the closet when revealing their relationship or sexual orientation is cause for punishment.
2) A relationship structure in which a person who is partnered is permitted to have additional sexual or romantic relationships on the condition that his or her partner does not know anything about those additional relationships and does not meet any of those other people.
Commentary: Many people in the polyamorous community frown on DADT relationships, and choose not to become involved in such relationships. There are many dangers in such relationships, including: the idea that a person who claims to be involved in such a relationship may simply be cheating (as the relationship often provides no mechanism by which that person's partner may be contacted to confirm that the relationship permits other relationships); the fact that many people choose DADT relationships as a way of avoiding and not dealing with emotional issues such as jealousy; and the fact that DADT relationships are built on a foundation of lack of communication within the existing relationship.
1) The Don't Ask Don't Tell policy in the US military, in which homosexuality was to be overlooked as long as no one asked about it and it wasn't obvious or wasn't revealed in any manner. It was intended to give gay members of the military some freedom from persecution, but has, in practice, forced gay people into the closet when revealing their relationship or sexual orientation is cause for punishment.
2) A relationship structure in which a person who is partnered is permitted to have additional sexual or romantic relationships on the condition that his or her partner does not know anything about those additional relationships and does not meet any of those other people.
Commentary: Many people in the polyamorous community frown on DADT relationships, and choose not to become involved in such relationships. There are many dangers in such relationships, including: the idea that a person who claims to be involved in such a relationship may simply be cheating (as the relationship often provides no mechanism by which that person's partner may be contacted to confirm that the relationship permits other relationships); the fact that many people choose DADT relationships as a way of avoiding and not dealing with emotional issues such as jealousy; and the fact that DADT relationships are built on a foundation of lack of communication within the existing relationship.
by Joreth April 8, 2010
Get the DADTmug. Taken from the tales of King Aurther and his knight, Percival, this refers to a person or couple who is searching for the "holy grail", the "unicorn", the HBB.
Percival did locate the Grail at one time, but, being too immature and failing to ask the proper question, he failed in attaining the Grail and he must grow spiritually and mentally before he could locate it again.
Percival is described in some places as "the least worldly and the least groomed of all the knights", having been raised in the woods away from society, and "extremely pious but somewhat naive".
This is analogous to a couple who is new to polyamory and, lacking sufficient role models in alternative relationships and lacking the experience themselves to understand the complex nature of multi-partner relationships, the couple believes, rather naively, that the way to circumvent jealousy, possession, or feeling "left out", is to find one person to share equally.
The rationale is that one partner cannot get jealous if he or she gets to do all the same things at the same time with the new partner as the existing partner. This does not refer to triads that just happen to spring up because the relationship between all involved was most compatible in a triad relationship. This is specifically for existing dyads seeking the Hot Bi Babe to "complete" their family and perhaps solve any underlying issues along the way.
Percival did locate the Grail at one time, but, being too immature and failing to ask the proper question, he failed in attaining the Grail and he must grow spiritually and mentally before he could locate it again.
Percival is described in some places as "the least worldly and the least groomed of all the knights", having been raised in the woods away from society, and "extremely pious but somewhat naive".
This is analogous to a couple who is new to polyamory and, lacking sufficient role models in alternative relationships and lacking the experience themselves to understand the complex nature of multi-partner relationships, the couple believes, rather naively, that the way to circumvent jealousy, possession, or feeling "left out", is to find one person to share equally.
The rationale is that one partner cannot get jealous if he or she gets to do all the same things at the same time with the new partner as the existing partner. This does not refer to triads that just happen to spring up because the relationship between all involved was most compatible in a triad relationship. This is specifically for existing dyads seeking the Hot Bi Babe to "complete" their family and perhaps solve any underlying issues along the way.
That skeevy couple over there hitting on all the young females trying to find a Hot Bi Babe for their threesome is just Percivalian
by Joreth April 8, 2010
Get the Percivalianmug.