Joreth's definitions
Don't Ask Don't Tell -
1) The Don't Ask Don't Tell policy in the US military, in which homosexuality was to be overlooked as long as no one asked about it and it wasn't obvious or wasn't revealed in any manner. It was intended to give gay members of the military some freedom from persecution, but has, in practice, forced gay people into the closet when revealing their relationship or sexual orientation is cause for punishment.
2) A relationship structure in which a person who is partnered is permitted to have additional sexual or romantic relationships on the condition that his or her partner does not know anything about those additional relationships and does not meet any of those other people.
Commentary: Many people in the polyamorous community frown on DADT relationships, and choose not to become involved in such relationships. There are many dangers in such relationships, including: the idea that a person who claims to be involved in such a relationship may simply be cheating (as the relationship often provides no mechanism by which that person's partner may be contacted to confirm that the relationship permits other relationships); the fact that many people choose DADT relationships as a way of avoiding and not dealing with emotional issues such as jealousy; and the fact that DADT relationships are built on a foundation of lack of communication within the existing relationship.
1) The Don't Ask Don't Tell policy in the US military, in which homosexuality was to be overlooked as long as no one asked about it and it wasn't obvious or wasn't revealed in any manner. It was intended to give gay members of the military some freedom from persecution, but has, in practice, forced gay people into the closet when revealing their relationship or sexual orientation is cause for punishment.
2) A relationship structure in which a person who is partnered is permitted to have additional sexual or romantic relationships on the condition that his or her partner does not know anything about those additional relationships and does not meet any of those other people.
Commentary: Many people in the polyamorous community frown on DADT relationships, and choose not to become involved in such relationships. There are many dangers in such relationships, including: the idea that a person who claims to be involved in such a relationship may simply be cheating (as the relationship often provides no mechanism by which that person's partner may be contacted to confirm that the relationship permits other relationships); the fact that many people choose DADT relationships as a way of avoiding and not dealing with emotional issues such as jealousy; and the fact that DADT relationships are built on a foundation of lack of communication within the existing relationship.
by Joreth April 8, 2010
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Prescripted comes from Prescribe: Latin, praescribere =
1. to write at the beginning, dictate, order;
2. to lay down a rule : DICTATE;
3. to lay down as a guide, direction, or rule of action : ORDAIN;
4. to specify with authority.
To prescript a relationship, then, is to create a set of rules governing the relationship before the people involved ever get into said relationship. These rules are often set up to define a relationship involving someone who is not even in existence yet and therefore cannot give his or her input into the relationship agreements, such as a married couple deciding the rules for a future extramarital partner before even finding one.
By contrast, a descriptive relationship describes the relationship as it is at the time with input from all involved.
Prescripted comes from Prescribe: Latin, praescribere =
1. to write at the beginning, dictate, order;
2. to lay down a rule : DICTATE;
3. to lay down as a guide, direction, or rule of action : ORDAIN;
4. to specify with authority.
To prescript a relationship, then, is to create a set of rules governing the relationship before the people involved ever get into said relationship. These rules are often set up to define a relationship involving someone who is not even in existence yet and therefore cannot give his or her input into the relationship agreements, such as a married couple deciding the rules for a future extramarital partner before even finding one.
By contrast, a descriptive relationship describes the relationship as it is at the time with input from all involved.
Even though John and Mary haven't met anyone they're interested in yet, they have decided beforehand that anyone they date will be female, in love with them both equally, single, will live no more than 10 miles away, will not call John by the nickname "bunnylips", will not eat with them at their favorite restaurant, and cannot ever listen to the song John and Mary danced to at their wedding while John and/or Mary are in the room with her. When they meet her, these rules are non-negotiable and she has no say in them. They prescripted their relationship.
by Joreth April 9, 2010
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