Jonzo the Weasel's definitions
A great frontman for legendary rock band Guns n' Roses. Thanks to his perfectionism and insufferable ego, he is the only member of the original band left in it. He also fucked the extremely hot Stephanie Seymour a bunch of times, though unfortunately for him his obnoxious personality messed that up too.
by Jonzo the Weasel June 11, 2006
Get the axl rose mug.The ultimate weapon when it comes to hand-to-hand combat. It can even be thrown like a tomohawk should your intended victim appear to be outrunning you. However, if there is a red taffic light nearby, simply smash the window of the first car, kill the guy inside it, drive up after the primary target, and while passing, swing the bat full-force at his head. A decapitation guaranteed
So you wanna be a hitman for fat Alfredo, skinny Lou? Awrighty, take out Stupid Gianni and Smelly Joe wit dis baseball bat
by Jonzo the Weasel January 22, 2006
Get the baseball bat mug.A fashion designer who is very rich and apparently crazy. At Rosario Dawson's birthday party he started a fight with Axl Rose for no apparent reason
by jonzo the weasel July 30, 2006
Get the Tommy Hilfiger mug.A far-right fundamentalist christian church in Topeka, Kansas headed by Fred Phelps. Think Pat Robertson cranked up to 11. They are notorious for the "God Hates Fags" campgain. To show their message, they select funerals of US troops who died in Iraq to picket, saying that these kids got killed as punishment for America's failure to persecute homosexuals. They first made the headlines when they went to the funeral of hate-crime victim Matthew Sheppard with signs saying "Matt In Hell" and other messages. If there's ever a disaster in the world, you can bet your ass that they will have something to say. Whenever they demonstrate, little kids as young as 6 can be seen brought along to hold signs by their parents.
After the asian tsunami the statement was that it was a "blessing from God." Somehow the idea was worked in that it was set up at a time that it would kill alot of Swedish tourists, because apparently Rev. Phelps has something against Scandinavia.
During the disastrous 2005 hurricane season, the church celebrated with signs like "Kudos Katrina" "Welcome Wilma" "Bring it on Beta" etc.
Also, the US casualties of the war on terror? The 3000 victims of the september 11 terrorist attacks? Martin Luther King and Corretta Scott King? The 14 guys who died in that coal mine? Every last Catholic on Earth? Reggie White? The Pope? Mr. Rogers? Yup, they're all in/going to Hell.
Oh, here's a fact! Phelps' 200 church members may only marry within the church. The catch is, it's made up entirely of relatives of either Fred or his wife. Hey, there's more than one way to keep the gene pool chlorinated.
Remember, kids, who would Jesus hate?
After the asian tsunami the statement was that it was a "blessing from God." Somehow the idea was worked in that it was set up at a time that it would kill alot of Swedish tourists, because apparently Rev. Phelps has something against Scandinavia.
During the disastrous 2005 hurricane season, the church celebrated with signs like "Kudos Katrina" "Welcome Wilma" "Bring it on Beta" etc.
Also, the US casualties of the war on terror? The 3000 victims of the september 11 terrorist attacks? Martin Luther King and Corretta Scott King? The 14 guys who died in that coal mine? Every last Catholic on Earth? Reggie White? The Pope? Mr. Rogers? Yup, they're all in/going to Hell.
Oh, here's a fact! Phelps' 200 church members may only marry within the church. The catch is, it's made up entirely of relatives of either Fred or his wife. Hey, there's more than one way to keep the gene pool chlorinated.
Remember, kids, who would Jesus hate?
A few messages from our friends at the Westboro Baptist Church!
"Matt In Hell"
"God Hates Fags"
"No Tears For Queers"
"Fags Die, God Laughs"
"FDNY In Hell"
"America Is Doomed"
"Thank God For Dead Troops"
"God Sent The IED"
"Fag Soldier In Hell"
"God Blew Up the Troops"
"Dyke Sows Wedd Here"
"Fag Priests And Dyke Nuns"
"Thank God For 9/11"
Hey Fred, thanks for giving all normal Christians a bad name."
"Matt In Hell"
"God Hates Fags"
"No Tears For Queers"
"Fags Die, God Laughs"
"FDNY In Hell"
"America Is Doomed"
"Thank God For Dead Troops"
"God Sent The IED"
"Fag Soldier In Hell"
"God Blew Up the Troops"
"Dyke Sows Wedd Here"
"Fag Priests And Dyke Nuns"
"Thank God For 9/11"
Hey Fred, thanks for giving all normal Christians a bad name."
by Jonzo the Weasel August 2, 2006
Get the Westboro Baptist Church mug.The head of the Westboro Baptist Church. An incredibly hateful man who runs godhatesfags.com and godhatesamerica.com. According to this incredible asshole, the GI's getting killed in Iraq are God's punishment for not persecuting homosexuals. His cult has picketted their funerals with signs like "God Hates Fags," "America Is Doomed," "Thank God for Dead Troops," "God Blew Up the Troops," "Fag Soldiers in Hell," and "Thank God for IEDs." He's a horrible example of Christianity and has a big surprise coming for him from God when he dies. He is linked to thechristian identity movement, a white-supremacist organization posing as a church.
Here are the people in Hell, according to Fred Phelps.
Matt Sheppard
Reggie White
Ronald Reagan
Martin Luther King
Corretta Scott King
Mr Rogers
All US casualties of the Iraq War
The victims of the West Virginia coal mine disaster
It should be noted that Freddie had met several times with and praised the leadership of our best buddy Saddam Hussein.
Matt Sheppard
Reggie White
Ronald Reagan
Martin Luther King
Corretta Scott King
Mr Rogers
All US casualties of the Iraq War
The victims of the West Virginia coal mine disaster
It should be noted that Freddie had met several times with and praised the leadership of our best buddy Saddam Hussein.
by jonzo the weasel July 30, 2006
Get the fred phelps mug.Where bad music rules >95% of the evening, where red carpet shows offer celebrities the opportunity to show off some of the most ridiculous clothing ever to be worn, allows celebrities to make some of the most boring speeches you will ever hear, and where axl rose and new guns n' roses, to the horror of GNR fans everywhere, butchered Welcome to the Jungle, proving that sometimes, you really should quit while you're ahead.
by jonzo the weasel September 12, 2006
Get the MTV VMA mug.The whipping boy of the music world for obnoxious posers who wish they had something intelligent to say.
Poser- Oh God! Is that rap you're listening to? That shit is the w-
Me- Listen, fuckwad- You go lose your virginity, then maybe we'll talk.
Me- Listen, fuckwad- You go lose your virginity, then maybe we'll talk.
by jonzo the weasel April 20, 2006
Get the rap mug.