Jonah Rowley's definitions

Earth

A planet that will probably not exist in 2, 000 years. I wonder why.
*cough, cough, humans, cough*
See man, are we screwed, if it exists.

Greenhouse gasses, global warming, polar melting, nuclear radiation.

by Jonah Rowley November 13, 2004

God

A word that some Earthlings use to refer to a magical man who judges everyone at some point in the future, who might have a son, and who might be an elephant. This man is somewhat of a wizard, using his magical powers to kill bad Earthlings while they’re alive, or burn them for a long time if they die. The wizard lives in a place called Heaven, which is somewhere in the clouds—or, if you believe meterologists and NASA scientists, *not* in the clouds, but still somehow above us, possibly in another dimension, or something similar. This is just one aspect of the wizard’s magic. Earthlings who like this wizard object to other Earthlings calling him magical, preferring the term ‘divine’. They have been known to invade Jerusalem when people get some of the minor details about him wrong.

Steve believed in God the wizard, but not very much, as he had never invaded Jerusalem.

by Jonah Rowley March 25, 2008

Hyperspace Express Route

What Earth will be demolished to make way for.

The demolotion orders are available on Alpha Centuri right now. I suggest you go there before it's demolished, so we can make a formal complaint.

by Jonah Rowley March 4, 2005

N-Gage

A handheld gaming system that looks like a phone that swallowed a GameBoy.

You mean you can use it as a phone?

by Jonah Rowley January 23, 2005

Matrix

1) Noun. A computer program that was designed by A.I. robots to divide the attention of humans away from the real world, where robots farm humans for a power source stronger than electricity.

2)Verb. A slang term for doing one of the stunts seen in the movie The Matrix, The Matrix: Reloaded or The Matrix: Revoloutions, such as running up a wall or dodging something heading for you by leaning back quickly.

1) The Matrix has you.

2) Did you see that? I just did the Matrix!

by Jonah Rowley October 17, 2004