JayszunVanderwerff's definitions

Tweetpression

Tweetpression, sometimes known as Commentosis is the depression that engulfs a person when the object of your affection online comments to the comment after yours, and in doing so neglects to acknowledge your contribution to the thread.

The object of your affection- "I really need to get out of the house tonight!"
A person you hate now- "Yeah, same. I'm gonna go train at the gym."
You- "It's my night off, can I shout you dinner and a movie?"
The object of your affection- "Have a great session at the gym!!!"
Your inner monologue- "Total Tweetpression."

by JayszunVanderwerff July 24, 2011

Avatar Surgery

On websites such as turntable.fm, where users seek to gain points in order to upgrade their avatars and therefore their level of respect on the site, lower ranked users often experience anxiety related to being seen as uncool or as an inferior member of the community. As a result, they work hard to accumulate as many points as possible, in the shortest amount of time, so they can upgrade to a better avatar. Once they have attained the new status, they instantly revert to feeling anxiety until they can accumulate enough points to move further up the ladder and get avatar surgery again.

I've been stuck on 286 points all day...if I can get 14 more points I can finally get avatar surgery!

by JayszunVanderwerff July 24, 2011

X Fracture

The jarring and painful realisation that most contestants or "stars" of reality TV shows get, when their short-lived fame has completely dissipated, and they have to return to regular work/life.

Person1- "Remember when (insert name here) was on X Factor?"
Person 2- "Now they're working at Sizzler again. They had a major X Fracture."

by JayszunVanderwerff July 24, 2011

Tweenis Envy

When tween stars such as Justin Bieber instill within you a range of emotions based on jealousy, caused by a misplaced and egotistical belief on your part that it should be you that is being adored, even though in most cases you are 30+ years old, unattractive, and have no discernible talent of your own.

(40 year old woman on the telephone)- "Did you see that Rebecca Black video? I want HER life...I got some bad tweenis envy!"

by JayszunVanderwerff July 24, 2011

Winehoused

When a situation foretold in a persons own lyrics or speech could have saved their life.

When Amy Winehouse famously sang "They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no, no no...", she winehoused in a big way. If she actually went to rehab and got clean, she wouldn't have overdosed.

by JayszunVanderwerff July 24, 2011

Faf.

An acronym of "Fake as fuck", a term popularised by rapper Del Tha Funkee Homosapien in his 'Both sides of the brain' album (2000), denoting his view of two-faced people who say one thing to your face, and another behind your back.

"If you're brown nosin' in the industy (you fake as fuck)
Wanna pretend that you're a friend to me (you fake as fuck)
Funny style record companies (you fake as fuck)
Weak ass MC wannabe's (you fake as fuck)"

You know that dude Jackson? How he's always smiling and slapping your back, telling you how rad he thinks you are? Yeah, that's faf. He hates your ass.

by JayszunVanderwerff July 24, 2011

Prince Albert Fountainhead

The effect of expelled urine hitting, and therefore having its trajectory altered upon, contact with the portion of a Prince Albert genital piercing situated in close proximity to the exterior of the male urethral opening. Sometimes also resulting in a Keern, where the stream is separated into two individual streams, most often travelling in different directions.

Person1- "Why don't you ever use the urinal like the rest of us?"
Person 2- "Because I'll piss on you. My Prince Albert Fountainhead guarantees it."

by JayszunVanderwerff July 24, 2011