13 definitions by Jaunty Diggles
|Verb| - To McGriddle is to order a breakfast sandwich such as McDonald's McGriddle and let it cool off while still in the wrapper. Then, after it has reached room temperate and you are feeling energetic, tuck the breakfast sandwich up under your nutsack and do 20 minutes of cardio to warm it back up and then give it to someone to else like you just bought them a free, hot sandwich. Naturally, they will be overjoyed and hastily gobble it down, while you feel a delightful sense of personal satisfaction in admiring your McGriddling handiwork.
Yeah bro, I McGriddled the shit out Dylan the other morning! That mother fucker smoked my last joint.
by Jaunty Diggles July 25, 2019
Kicking Mitchie is when everyone facing eviction or bankruptcy from COVID 2020-related lack of governmental financial support and relief, courtesy of Mitch "Bitch" McConnell's-led retarded assfuckery of a Republican Senate, shows up their local Republican congressperson's house on Christmas Day to take turns kicking him or her in the face. And the genitals. And then the face again. Then, its a first-come-first-serve free-for-all looting festival where the angry newly-impoverished American citizens steal everything not locked down from the property while making sure to leave as many piles of flaming feces in their wake. It is assumed that so much badly-needed catharsis will be felt during Kitching Mitchie 2020 that it will be cemented as a yule-time tradition for years to come.
If you thought Juneteenth was cool, you're gonna love Kicking Mitchie. Better show up early while the gettin's good.
by Jaunty Diggles December 24, 2020
Kicking Mitchie is when everyone facing eviction or bankruptcy from COVID 2020-related lack of governmental financial support and relief, courtesy of Mitch "Bitch" McConnell's-led retarded assfuckery of a Republican Senate, shows up their local Republican congressperson's house on Christmas Day to take turns kicking him or her in the face. And the genitals. And then the face again. Then, its a first-come-first-serve free-for-all looting festival where the angry newly-impoverished American citizens steal everything not locked down from the property while making sure to leave as many piles of flaming feces in their wake. It is assumed that so much badly-needed catharsis will be felt during Kitching Mitchie 2020 that it will be cemented as a yule-time tradition for years to come.
If you thought Juneteenth was cool, you're gonna love Kicking Mitchie. Better show up early while the gettin's good.
by Jaunty Diggles December 25, 2020
There comes a point in the life of a superstar where he's pleasured so much deliciousness that he can no longer continue. But his ego lives on. And so to continue to flaunt his profound man-prowess while simultaneously signaling to women that he's off the fucktrain but still of esteem, value and wealth, the tour de force will surgically have his testicles removed and then have 7 lucky gold doubloons sewn up inside instead, thus turning his scrotum into a JINGLEBAG.
Man, I heard Brad Pitt scored so much tang that he just didn't care about fucking anymore and went jinglebag.
by Jaunty Diggles August 25, 2019
A CHILLER is natural kink at it's finest. On a cold winter morning, wake up before the sun rises and hop in your car. Then, with the heat off, drive to your favorite natural scenic location (preferably a mountain overlook or a frozen waterfall), again, with the heat off. When you arrive at your location, park the car in a secluded spot. Then crank the fuck down with your freezing cold hands in your freezing cold car. Let your steamy fury frost the windows so as to protect your privacy from any onlookers. Let yourself erupt in a volcano of lust inside winter's cold chamber of frozen glory for a true fusion of sensory kink.
Fuck! I'm all out of oxycodone... How am I going to make it through work today?? Well, I'm up early - I think I'll head off to Mt. Sandalphon and relax with a chiller. That'll set me right.
by Jaunty Diggles August 3, 2019
Pitchin' in the mirror is when you are so depressed and lonely that the best part of your life is the wonderously pleasurable feeling that you sometimes get when pitchin’ a loaf, so much so that you put a mirror in front of the toilet so that you can witness the look of pleasure on your face and savor these glorious moments of fecal delivery while pretending that your reflection is another person, a compassionate friend.
Bro, ever since I found out how hard it is to become a rock star and my girlfriend got abducted by The Grays, I've been pitchin' in the mirror.
by Jaunty Diggles September 7, 2019
When you power up with a 2-hour Tom Brady-style workout and get yourself good and sweaty AND THEN stick your middle finger right the fuck into your swampy ass crack, popping the tip into the anus. The finger is then withdrawn and inhaled with all the pride of the Patriots 6 SuperBowl championships.
by Jaunty Diggles August 25, 2019