1 definition by Insane Badger

Captaining

A sexual act in which one sucks each of their partners 10 toes, each for 10 minutes at a time.

Toe act cannot be called a "captain" unless the entire routine has been completed, meaning at least 100 minutes of toe suckling.

This can result in a very dry and tired mouth. It is the equivelent to a 100 minute blowjob, but tastes a lot worse.

Variations of this sexual routine include:

Autopilot: "Captaining" oneself.

Hi-jack: "Captaining" someone that doesn't want to be "captained."

Running dry: Failing to complete the entire routine.

Co-pilot: Having two people "captaining" another at the same time.

Girl: "Oh baby you're making me so hot right now. I want you to captain me."

Guy: Hell yea baby. With pleasure.

Halfway through his mouth is drying up.

Guy: Wait baby, let me get my co-pilot to give me a hand.

Rings Dave.

Dave: Alright mate, just a bit busy hijacking this bird. Can I call you back.

Guy: Yea mate, was just running dry captaining my bird over here.

Dave: Unlucky mate. In a bit.

Guy to girl: Sorry babe, you're gonna have to swith to auto-pilot for a minute.

by Insane Badger September 5, 2009