InTheKitchenCookingActualPies's definitions

accidental thumb

When you're using Facebook messenger and you accidentally hit the thumb on the right side of the screen. It sends it right away, so there's no going back. It's an oversized blue thumb that gets inserted into your thread of texts. Often happens when you're having conversations that would be totally inappropriate to give a thumbs up.

Two people messaging on FB:

Johnny: "I just got back from the vet. My dogs eye was bleeding from the inside."
Daphs: "(thumbs up)"
Daphs: "Shit, that was an accidental thumb. I'm sorry to hear about your dog."

thumbs up facebook inappropriate whoops oversized texting messaging FB

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies September 9, 2016

Five dollar foot long

When a guy doesn't have much money, but he's got a big dick.

Girl: "I've been hanging around this new guy lately... he can't pay my bills, but his dick is enormous."
Other girl: "Ah, sounds like a total five dollar foot long."

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies December 13, 2016

sexsagge

When a man is having a woman from behind, while also giving her a back massage.

Girl "This morning my back really hurts, but I am horney too."
Guy "How about a sexsagge?"
Girl "Ok!" (Flips over)

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies February 2, 2014

Ba-da liki mala da shini malaga

A great way to wrap up a rambling drunken voicemail to someone. When executed properly, you will achieve three things:

1- You will appear to be actually smarter than the recipient, because they will assume you either speak another language they have never heard, or are referencing pop culture they are unaware of
2- The rest of your idiocy in your message will be overshadowed by this shocking soliloquy change
3- You'll get talked about, and really any press is good press.

Drunk guy leaving a message: " Heyyyyy, how are you? I don’t know why you’re ignoring me, I didn’t do anything wrong. Um. Yeah, like, what the, what happened man, we like didn’t meet up… right? And then next thing you know you just don’t wanna talk to me now? You know you’re going to see me when the summer time comes. And you’re gonna see me, and I’m going to be jacked out and you’re gonna be like, “fuck, I coulda duh duh duh duh” or you gonna hear about a girl that i was with and be like, “What he like what and he what his what with what in the what!?” and then you’re going to be like, “Daaaamn.” So let’s skip all that and let’s start talking again cuz I didn’t do anything mean to you or bad to you, we just couldn’t freaking get on the same wavelength of time to make a date to hang out. This time, let’s just meet and boom, quick and easy, ba-da liki mala da shini malaga, and everything’s cool, alright? Ok. Bye."

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies December 13, 2016

brawsing

Surfing the web for bras.

Girl: I've got to find the right bra for a backless dress I'm wearing on my wedding.

Other girl: Oh man, bra shopping can be so tough.

Girl: Yeah, I'll probably spend hours brawsing.

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies September 23, 2016

Duck

What the iPhone autocorrects "fuck" to, when never do you ever actually mean to type "duck".

Guy texting: "baby, I'm going to duck the shit out of you later."

Girl texting: "please tell me you mean fuck...?"

Guy texting: "ugh, yes. Ducking Siri."

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies December 28, 2016

accidental thumb

When you're using Facebook messenger and you accidentally hit the thumb on the right side of the screen. It sends it right away, so there's no going back. It's an oversized blue thumb that gets inserted into your thread of texts. Often happens when you're having conversations that would be totally inappropriate to give a thumbs up.

Two people messaging on FB:

Johnny: "I just got back from the vet. My dogs eye was bleeding from the inside."
Daphs: "(thumbs up)"
Daphs: "Shit, that was an accidental thumb. I'm sorry to hear about your dog."

thumbs up facebook inappropriate whoops oversized texting messaging FB

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies September 9, 2016