InTheKitchenCookingActualPies's definitions

accidental neckbeardism

When one employs the well-intentioned albeit condescending misogynism of a neckbeard by mistake, often through a misunderstanding that occurs through timing or coincidence.

Woke guy #1: Just left rehearsal for Fiddler on the Roof and still had my fedora on. Went to fix it as this woman walked by me, and I'm pretty sure she thought I was tipping my hat to her.

Woke guy #2: Man, what an accidental neckbeardism. Bet you just want to die.

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies February 4, 2019

Duck

What the iPhone autocorrects "fuck" to, when never do you ever actually mean to type "duck".

Guy texting: "baby, I'm going to duck the shit out of you later."

Girl texting: "please tell me you mean fuck...?"

Guy texting: "ugh, yes. Ducking Siri."

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies December 28, 2016

Dutch Boy

(Noun) A man who is really supremely nice and innocent. Usually someone's devoted, loving husband, who tells his wife how much he loves her every day (and means it). The type of guy who you would vote to be mayor, and know that he would actually be a good person in political office. There is nothing bad to say about this person, although people like to make a point to say how he's so freaking nice, as though it were a bad thing. You would assume his shit don't stank. Likely to marry a Canadian because they are also very nice people.

Emily: "Evan's going to be one of the judges at the lingerie show this Friday!"

Daphne: "Really? But he's such a Dutch boy."

Emily: "lol, I know, he'll definitely be the nicest judge. By the way, I'm seeing my family in Toronto soon."

canadian nice guy dutch sweet

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies November 4, 2015

Five dollar foot long

When a guy doesn't have much money, but he's got a big dick.

Girl: "I've been hanging around this new guy lately... he can't pay my bills, but his dick is enormous."
Other girl: "Ah, sounds like a total five dollar foot long."

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies December 13, 2016

friendship burger

A friendship burger is the kind of burger you get with a friend. This phrase is the best way to note that your burger-getting is platonic and friendly in nature. The antonym to "sexy burger" where one shares a burger date with someone with whom they share sexual ideals.

Bebe: "But for real, if you want to grab a friendship burger sometime, let me know!"
Ver: "Yeah, lemme just wait til I'm done with my diet this month"
Bebe: "Cool cool... just wanted to make sure you didn't think I wanted to get a sexy burger with ya, friend!"

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies February 23, 2019

accidental thumb

When you're using Facebook messenger and you accidentally hit the thumb on the right side of the screen. It sends it right away, so there's no going back. It's an oversized blue thumb that gets inserted into your thread of texts. Often happens when you're having conversations that would be totally inappropriate to give a thumbs up.

Two people messaging on FB:

Johnny: "I just got back from the vet. My dogs eye was bleeding from the inside."
Daphs: "(thumbs up)"
Daphs: "Shit, that was an accidental thumb. I'm sorry to hear about your dog."

thumbs up facebook inappropriate whoops oversized texting messaging FB

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies September 9, 2016

eyebrash

1: When a persons eyebrows are so disgustingly untamed and long, that the eyebrows practically invade and rival eyelash territory.

Example:

Girl 1: My drivers ed teacher has like, the longest eyebrows EVER!

Girl 2: Eww! Are they like, eyebrashes?

Girl 1: Totally! It's like he wears like, mascara on them.

Girl 2: He sounds like, totes gross.

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies August 19, 2014