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InTheKitchenCookingActualPies's definitions

eyebrash

1: When a persons eyebrows are so disgustingly untamed and long, that the eyebrows practically invade and rival eyelash territory.
Example:

Girl 1: My drivers ed teacher has like, the longest eyebrows EVER!

Girl 2: Eww! Are they like, eyebrashes?

Girl 1: Totally! It's like he wears like, mascara on them.

Girl 2: He sounds like, totes gross.
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accidental thumb

When you're using Facebook messenger and you accidentally hit the thumb on the right side of the screen. It sends it right away, so there's no going back. It's an oversized blue thumb that gets inserted into your thread of texts. Often happens when you're having conversations that would be totally inappropriate to give a thumbs up.
Two people messaging on FB:

Johnny: "I just got back from the vet. My dogs eye was bleeding from the inside."
Daphs: "(thumbs up)"
Daphs: "Shit, that was an accidental thumb. I'm sorry to hear about your dog."

thumbs up facebook inappropriate whoops oversized texting messaging FB
by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies September 9, 2016
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Five dollar foot long

When a guy doesn't have much money, but he's got a big dick.
Girl: "I've been hanging around this new guy lately... he can't pay my bills, but his dick is enormous."
Other girl: "Ah, sounds like a total five dollar foot long."
by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies December 13, 2016
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Koalaty Time

A pun used to describe the time spent when you and your lover are snuggling, wrapped up in each others arms, facing each other. Like how a koala hugs onto a tree. You are usually really super in love if you spend koalaty time together.
Guy: "I can't wait to see my girl later -- we're going to spend some serious koalaty time together."

Other Guy: "Man, you guys must be in love! She's total wifey material, I'm happy for you guys."
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Duck

What the iPhone autocorrects "fuck" to, when never do you ever actually mean to type "duck".
Guy texting: "baby, I'm going to duck the shit out of you later."

Girl texting: "please tell me you mean fuck...?"

Guy texting: "ugh, yes. Ducking Siri."
by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies December 28, 2016
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accidental thumb

When you're using Facebook messenger and you accidentally hit the thumb on the right side of the screen. It sends it right away, so there's no going back. It's an oversized blue thumb that gets inserted into your thread of texts. Often happens when you're having conversations that would be totally inappropriate to give a thumbs up.
Two people messaging on FB:

Johnny: "I just got back from the vet. My dogs eye was bleeding from the inside."
Daphs: "(thumbs up)"
Daphs: "Shit, that was an accidental thumb. I'm sorry to hear about your dog."

thumbs up facebook inappropriate whoops oversized texting messaging FB
by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies September 9, 2016
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Ba-da liki mala da shini malaga

A great way to wrap up a rambling drunken voicemail to someone. When executed properly, you will achieve three things:

1- You will appear to be actually smarter than the recipient, because they will assume you either speak another language they have never heard, or are referencing pop culture they are unaware of
2- The rest of your idiocy in your message will be overshadowed by this shocking soliloquy change
3- You'll get talked about, and really any press is good press.
Drunk guy leaving a message: " Heyyyyy, how are you? I don’t know why you’re ignoring me, I didn’t do anything wrong. Um. Yeah, like, what the, what happened man, we like didn’t meet up… right? And then next thing you know you just don’t wanna talk to me now? You know you’re going to see me when the summer time comes. And you’re gonna see me, and I’m going to be jacked out and you’re gonna be like, “fuck, I coulda duh duh duh duh” or you gonna hear about a girl that i was with and be like, “What he like what and he what his what with what in the what!?” and then you’re going to be like, “Daaaamn.” So let’s skip all that and let’s start talking again cuz I didn’t do anything mean to you or bad to you, we just couldn’t freaking get on the same wavelength of time to make a date to hang out. This time, let’s just meet and boom, quick and easy, ba-da liki mala da shini malaga, and everything’s cool, alright? Ok. Bye."
by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies December 13, 2016
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