Dora the Explorer is a so-called "educational" pre-schooler's show which we all know. Dora, the "expolra", or whatever they call it in the theme song, goes on adventures full of dangerous bullshit and have parents that apperantally approve of it. She has a bitchy monkey in red boots that is cleverly named Boots. She has a purple backpack she carries everywhere, no matter where she is, that talks. And we all know the famous map, which repeats itself at least 20 or 30 times before telling us what's on the fucking map, and then it gives us three locations... so we basically had to listen to him to tell us he's the map to see these three locations. And did you ever notice how "the map"itself is STANDING on a map? How fucking clever.
Very obvious questions are also asked during the show. For example, Dora will unknowingly ask us "Do you see my house?" when she is standing at least 10 feet beside it. Suddenly, the camera pans to the left until there is nothing left BUT her house. Then, a huge neon flashing arrow will point to her house. And then, a blue mouse cursor will beat us to it while we're sitting there in front of the TV trying to explain to Dora where it is, and it will click on the house. Oh, Dora, there it is! Are you fucking blind? And at least once a show, we run into residential badass Swiper the Fox, who steals items from Dora and cleverly hides them in piles with similar items to confuse the shit out of her. There is also one way to stop Swiper from stealing Dora's possesions (but if you tried it in reality you'd get your ass kicked). This one way is to stick out your hand like a pussy, as if telling Swiper to stop (and, WOW, he stops), and then, for him to not keep going, you have to say "Swiper don't swipe it" or something gay like that, and he'll snap his fingers mafia-style and say "Aw man!" like a gaywad and run away. Dora is an insult to anyone's intelligence and no one knows why it's still aired, poor kids are being stupified. Fuck you, Dora, you little pansy!
Hey kids! It's Dora The Explorer! Where's Boots? That's right, he got stuck up Swiper's ass!
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