1 definition by If I tell you EVERYONE will know who this is ;)

A shitacular store that tries to be the "Wal-Mart that never was", ie. "GREAT PRICES FOR GREAT FASHIONS". In other words 6 year old kids in Sri Lanka make ugly sweaters, then Target buys them for 10 cents and goes ahead and sells it under *insert famous clothing designer here* for $40.

Working there is HELL, you are forced to wear red shirts and khaki pants or skirts, call customers "guests" (if you don't you get written up), and every morning there are "huddles" (a stupid cutesy name for the word "boring meeting") where you stand around and they tell you "YESTERDAY WE MADE 100,000 DOLLARS AHAHAHA AND YOU'RE ONLY MAKING 6.50 AN HOUR FOR DOING ALL THE WORK US HIGHER UPS DON'T WANT TO DO". The store manager is NEVER there, and they are ALWAYS on vacation. Overtime is a no-no, and if you do one minute of overtime they have a hissy-fit and poop their pants over it.

There is also a stupid line EVERY "team member" (another cutesy fuckin' name for TARGET SLAVE) has to ask every "guest", and that is "CAN I HELP YOU FIND SOMETHING?". First off, most customers HATE being asked if they need help, secondly it's gramatically incorrect, and thirdly if you don't ask it and your GSTL/ETL/TL (stupid names for fuckin supervisors) catch you NOT saying it you get reprimanded.

Target gives their "team members" a discount that is a measly 10% off. Target's items are too expensive and you might as well walk your lazy butt to Wal-Mart and buy it for 3 bucks less.
Target Team Member Jonny: "Can I help you find something?"
Crabby overtly obese guest on cellphone: (in bitchy voice): "NO. WHERE ARE YOUR CHEETOS??!!"
Target Team Member Jonny: "Aisle G38"
Crabby Overtly Obese Guest on Cellphone: *grunts* "WALMART'S HEMORRHOID CREAM IS CHEAPER IM GOING TO WALMART *grunts again and farts*

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