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6 definitions by I Will Kill You

 
1.
A legendary singer. This man was one of the most important forces in all of rock and roll history. Did he invent rock and roll? No, of course not. But he did revolutionize it. To people that say his music in the '50s was "watered down blues and rock and roll", maybe you should get your head checked because you couldn't be any more wrong. He invented his own original sound (he had an enormous hand in creating the rockabilly genre), based off of other artist's songs. Does this make him less talented? No, because while artists who write their own music and lyrics are great (The Beatles being a good example), Elvis had soul, an unbelievable voice, and an incredible energy. Of course, he was drafted in '58, and came back in 1960, and cut a stupendous album, "Elvis Is Back", before starting his '60s movie career that would basically destroy his career. He made some good songs in the '60s, but they were overshadowed by the seemingly infinite amounts of mediocre movies and their equally lackluster soundtrack LPs. The fact that The Beatles had practically taken over the music world at this time didn't help, either. In 1968, everything changed. He was signed to do a TV special (originally planned to be Elvis doing some Christmas songs), but Elvis fought hard to get what he wanted, to let the public know he was still here. The NBC TV special (now dubbed "The '68 Comeback Special"), while containing some Hollywood style musical numbers not very different from the ones in his movies, had four sections that rekindled the flame in Elvis' career: The opening "Trouble/Guitar Man" performance, the informal jam session later released as "Tiger Man", the legendary concert performed before a studio audience, where Elvis' 1950s energy came back better than ever, and the final number, "If I Can Dream", a protest song released in the wake of turbulent times (the assassinations of Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy). The TV special was an immense success, with people remembering why they liked Elvis in the first place. In 1969, under complete creative control, returned to Memphis, where he had not recorded a song since 1955, to record the now legendary album "From Elvis In Memphis", an LP showing very diverse genres, including blues, rock, gospel, country, and soul. It was a huge success and only added to Elvis' new stardom. Throughout the '70s, Elvis released an endless supply of studio albums, live albums, compilations, singles, and held hundreds of sold-out concerts. Now to those that say Elvis became a fat loser in the '70s and couldn't sing anymore, I beg you to purchase the "Walk A Mile In My Shoes: The Essential '70s Masters" box set. Elvis remained an amazing artist until the end. Throughout the early '70s (1970-1973), he released many wonderful singles and albums and one of the best live albums of all time "Aloha From Hawaii". Now in the later years (1974-1977), it was obvious something was wrong. His weight gradually increased, his behavior more bizarre, and drug use more evident. But what you need to see, is how even when so many things were wrong with the man, he always pulled through and gave his scheduled performances, no matter how much pain he was in and how sick he felt. Listen to some bootlegs of his late '70s concerts just to hear, his voice had gotten more powerful than ever. Sadly, he passed away in 1977, leaving behind one of the largest and most successful music careers of the 20th century. Honestly, every time I've talked to someone who hates Elvis, I ask them the same question, "What songs have you heard from him?", and I always get answers like, "Uhh... Blue Suede Shoes, and uhh... other ones but I can't remember the names." Well I guess that's their problem, that they will miss such great songs like "Good Rockin' Tonight", "One Sided Love Affair", "Easy Question", "Surrender", "Power of My Love", "Burning Love", "Unchained Melody", "Way Down", and hundreds of others.
Elvis Presley was a revolutionary performer, a great showman, and a talented actor (watch King Creole or Jailhouse Rock).

John Lennon put it best:

"Before Elvis, there was nothing."
by I Will Kill You July 07, 2007
 
2.
A person (usually female), who is on your myspace.com friends list, who posts an unholy amount of bulletins, until every bulletin you see is from that person. These bulletins are usually incredibly pointless, and consist of at least one of these things:

-Random outbursts, talking about how much they hate "drama".
-Begging for picture comments.
-"Talk.. <3"
-Telling people about how they had fun hanging out with their friends that day. As if any sane person really gives a shit.
-Announcements of new: about me, pictures, blog, headline, display name, music section, who I'd like to meet, etc.
-Random song lyrics (usually to a really retarded song).
-Conversations with the poster's friend(s), because they don't have the common sense to use the message or comment function.
-A survey detailing points of your life that nobody gives a fuck about.
-Bragging about how they got a new phone, camera, iPod, etc.
-The ultimate "shoot-me-in-the-head-right-now" breed of bulletins, chain letters. These usually are comprised of a stupid, made-up story about someone dying, and how their ghost will come back to murder you if you don't repost. They can also be about some horrendously sappy love story ending with "REPOST THIS AS "AWW" AND U WILL GET KISSED BY UR CRUSH ON FRIDAY; IF U DONT REPOST, U WILL BE A VIRGIN FOR THE NEXT SEVEN YEARS AND SEVEN DAYS".
Here's some great (real) examples of bulletin whores:

Subject: at (censored)'s
Body: fdsfjsodiufsjfos leaving sooooooooooooooooooon :}

Subject: COMMENT MY NEW PIX
Body: xomment my new pix

Subject: hehehehe
Body: yooooo like the stupid ccd took my phone away like wtf shes not my mom but itsk i forgive her hahahahahakkkk almost homeeeee talk onlineee or txtttt yeeeeeyyyy

Subject: helllllllllo
Body: talk to me <3

Subject: so waht do u do..
Body: when u kno what is bad for u
is what u want..
by I Will Kill You March 21, 2007
 
3.
Someone who:
-Considers Rockstar Games' Grand Theft Auto series to be their favorite game series of all time.
-Owns every GTA game (1, London, 2, III, VC, SA, LCS, VCS).
-Has beaten at least one of the games 100%.
-Has a complete hatred for every game considered a "GTA clone", and will attempt to murder anyone claiming games such as True Crime, Driver, Saints Row, and Mafia are better than GTA.
-Tries to minimize their social life as much as possible, to play more GTA.
-Loves watching news broadcasts and documentaries about how GTA is corrupting the world, because it gives them the urge to go play.
-Doesn't just like the 3D games. They also have an appreciation for the original 2D games.
-Bought a PSP specifically to play Liberty City Stories.
-Is planning on getting/has gotten an Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3 to play Grand Theft Auto IV.

In short, me, and thousands of others.
Archibald: Dude, James you're such a fucking dork. You never hang out with us anymore just to play that damn GTA. You're such a fuckin' GTA addict.

Dave: I know right? Bro, GTA sucks anyway, Saints Row kicks its ass to the curb and fucks its girlfriend.

(James slits Dave's throat)
by I Will Kill You March 31, 2007
 
4.
From Slayer's landmark 1986 album, Reign In Blood.
The heaviest, most brutal 7 minutes and 44 seconds of anything ever recorded in the history of music. Both of these songs are heavy, fast, angry, unforgiving thrash masterpieces, and they both deserve separate definitions.

Postmortem:
A song about what else? Postmortem. Accompanied by chaotic guitars and lightning fast drumming, Tom Araya's frightening, unforgiving, and morbid vocals in this song make it literally sound like you've gone to hell and are being yelled at by Satan himself. About 1:45 into the song, Tom Araya lets out a high-pitched, epic scream. If this scream doesn't give you an eargasm, then you are not a metalhead. As the song breaks down, you think the ride through hell is over, and you're safe again. You're wrong. The song starts up again with some awesome guitars, and Dave's bullet-paced drumming. Some more hellish lyrics are yelled, and the song starts to break down again. Again you are tricked into thinking the hellish musical pummeling is over. It's not. In fact, it couldn't be farther from it.

Raining Blood:
A loud clap of thunder is heard, along with guitars and slow drumming. You have no idea that you are in for the most brutal, deadly piece of music ever written. As the song starts to pick up, you hear the unforgettable Raining Blood riff, and the drumming starts. There's no turning back now. The song just starts getting heavier and heavier, and faster and faster. Then Tom yells "Trapped in purgatory!!! A lifeless object alive!!!" and his voice sounds even more horrifying and deep than in Postmortem, or hell, even Angel of Death. The ear pounding ensues as the song continues, getting heavier every second, until Tom finishes the vocals, and the guitars and drums keep going faster, faster, and faster until you start headbanging like never before. Then it all ends suddenly, with a thunder clap, followed by the sound of rain. It's all over now. Pussies can now go cry to their mothers, and metalheads can now start the CD over.

In short, two thrash metal masterpieces. If you claim yourself to be a metalhead and you haven't heard these two before, please give me your home address, so I can go to your house and beat the shit out of you.
My sinful glare at nothing holds thoughts of death behind it!!
Skeletons in my mind commence, tearing at my sanity!!
Vessels in my brain carry death until my birth!!
Come and die with me forever,
Share insanity!!!

DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!?!

-Part of Postmortem/Raining Blood
by I Will Kill You January 28, 2007
 
5.
When you're watching TV and you get a snack (chips, pretzels, a sandwich, etc.) during a commercial break, only to finish said snack before the commercials end.
TV: We'll be back after these messages!

Boris: Shit man, this show kicks ass, but it would kick even more ass with some Fritos.

*Boris gets a bag of Fritos*

Boris: Ahh those were good Fritos. Holy shit the show hasn't even started!!

TV: We're back! (Scrubs resumes)

Boris: Ahhh fuck, damn commercial snacks.
by I Will Kill You April 29, 2007
 
6.
From Slayer's landmark 1986 album, Reign In Blood.
The heaviest, most brutal 7 minutes and 44 seconds of anything ever recorded in the history of music. Both of these songs are heavy, fast, angry, unforgiving thrash masterpieces, and they both deserve separate definitions.

Postmortem:
A song about what else? Postmortem. Accompanied by chaotic guitars and lightning fast drumming, Tom Araya's frightening, unforgiving, and morbid vocals in this song make it literally sound like you've gone to hell and are being yelled at by Satan himself. About 1:45 into the song, Tom Araya lets out a high-pitched, epic scream. If this scream doesn't give you an eargasm, then you are not a metalhead. As the song breaks down, you think the ride through hell is over, and you're safe again. You're wrong. The song starts up again with some awesome guitars, and Dave's bullet-paced drumming. Some more hellish lyrics are yelled, and the song starts to break down again. Again you are tricked into thinking the hellish musical pummeling is over. It's not. In fact, it couldn't be farther from it.

Raining Blood:
A loud clap of thunder is heard, along with guitars and slow drumming. You have no idea that you are in for the most brutal, deadly piece of music ever written. As the song starts to pick up, you hear the unforgettable Raining Blood riff, and the drumming starts. There's no turning back now. The song just starts getting heavier and heavier, and faster and faster. Then Tom yells "Trapped in purgatory!!! A lifeless object alive!!!" and his voice sounds even more horrifying and deep than in Postmortem, or hell, even Angel of Death. The ear pounding ensues as the song continues, getting heavier every second, until Tom finishes the vocals, and the guitars and drums keep going faster, faster, and faster until you start headbanging like never before. Then it all ends suddenly, with a thunder clap, followed by the sound of rain. It's all over now. Pussies can now go cry to their mothers, and metalheads can now start the CD over.

In short, two thrash metal masterpieces. If you claim yourself to be a metalhead and you haven't heard these two before, please give me your home address, so I can go to your house and beat the shit out of you.
My sinful glare at nothing holds thoughts of death behind it!!
Skeletons in my mind commence, tearing at my sanity!!
Vessels in my brain carry death until my birth!!
Come and die with me forever,
Share insanity!!!

DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!?!

-Part of Postmortem/Raining Blood
by I Will Kill You January 28, 2007