Pretty much the most ridiculous name ever given to a child, or at least given to a nine-year-old child from
New Zealand. A judge ordered the parents to change it so that the poor girl
wouldn't have to die a lonely old spinster because nobody wants
to touch a girl
named Talula Does
The Hula From
Hawaii. That's assuming she even lives that long and isn't brutally beaten
to death before sixth grade. In the end the parents lost custody of her, a relatively fitting reward.
been Chinese they
would've been shot on sight, little girl
included, so they
're lucky in that respect.
"Oh my god, what a beautiful
baby we have. She's so pure! What the hell do we name it?"
"How about Talula? I saw it on a train station
's retarded! What, are you high?"
"Oh, good. I was thinking
name her something
with grit and integrity, something like Does
The Hula From Hawaii. Our baby's gonna be big, so it needs a big name with at least one state, one article, and definitely
"Babe, how about we mix the names and call it Talula Does
The Hula From Hawaii?"
's completely fucking asinine! I love it, I love you!"
"Gimme that birth
certificate! Is there a "y" in Hawaii?"