Characterized by her poor teased hair and shoddy colour treatments, her general lack of looks, and poor body shape the Maple Ridge Ditch Pig is essentially a waste of skin. She likes to take pictures of attractive girls whenever they meet, and then secretly cries at night knowing she will never look like them. Her interests include group bingo, needless capitalization of sentences, and housing out of work dead beat plumbers who neglect children. (See "Dead Beat"
Wow, that Maple Ridge Ditch Pig is really hitting on that group of guys in the Pipe Band...yikes!