1 definition by Haven R.
A service offered by companies unable to create products that work consistently and/or at all. Most often available via telephone, this service involves one or more employees asking for all of your information short of your fucking eye color, after which, said one or more employees will offer vague, unhelpful suggestions that can already be found in your appliance's manual. If none of said vague, unhelpful suggestions result in an unlikely success, employees will lamely request you attempt to turn off, and turn back on said appliance, after which said employee will A: Disconnect your call or B: Transfer you to an equally unhelpful department.
Tech support: Hello, this is 1-800-WEREUSELESS, how may we be of assistance to you?
Dave: Hi, I'm phoning because I can't seem to turn my computer on.
Tech support: I'll need some information first, is that okay with you sir?
Dave: Sure, go ahead.
Tech support: Age?
Dave: 43.
Tech support: Name?
Dave: Dave.
Tech support: Account number and password?
Dave: I kind of forget. Where could I find those?
Tech support: Length of your fully erect reproductive organ?
Dave: What?
Tech support: I'm sorry sir, let me transfer you to the Baby Clothing department.
Dave: Hi, I'm phoning because I can't seem to turn my computer on.
Tech support: I'll need some information first, is that okay with you sir?
Dave: Sure, go ahead.
Tech support: Age?
Dave: 43.
Tech support: Name?
Dave: Dave.
Tech support: Account number and password?
Dave: I kind of forget. Where could I find those?
Tech support: Length of your fully erect reproductive organ?
Dave: What?
Tech support: I'm sorry sir, let me transfer you to the Baby Clothing department.
by Haven R. May 6, 2008