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41 definitions by H.S. Willsy

 
8.
1) To find oneself in a public toilet that is lacking a door lock, a toilet seat or a loo roll

2) Any situation in which poo becomes a visible nuisance
1) "Aww man. there's no toilet paper up in this smelly joint. What a shitemare."

"I've got paper for you buddy, in return for a little something something that is."

"Ted? Is that you?"

"It was always me Bill, it was always me."

2) The Indian Commonwealth Games
by H.S. Willsy August 19, 2011
52 24
 
9.
When pregnant women eat junk food with no positive nutritional qualities and claim that it's a craving, they're using the pregnancy craving shield.
"Could you go out and get me another two bags of chips? And a deep fried pizza slice?"

"Really?"

"I'M CRAVING IT!"

"Jesus, put the pregnancy craving shield down already. I'll get it for you. Just stop looking at me like I'm a man-sized chicken leg."
by H.S. Willsy August 24, 2011
38 11
 
10.
When someone is wasted to the point that they are indiscriminately unloading their weapon on a busy street, they are Robert Downy Juniored
"The fuck's that noise?"

"It's this guy outside, he's Robert Downey Juniored!"

"It's Robert Downey Jr?" Ted asked, having misheard over the drunken gunfire. "I gotta go get his autograph!"

"No!" Billy screamed over the hail of gunfire that met his friend. "No!"
by H.S. Willsy August 24, 2011
32 5
 
11.
Mistaking a male Thai prostitute for a female one can be called a 'trick of the thai' due to how ladylike many of them look. It's usually an excuse made by men who were out shopping for some ladyboy action, got caught getting it and then didn't want to admit to it after. Because why would they not just check up front if they didn't want it? It's not like we don't know that they're out there. Lurking.
"Whoa, hey Stan, this girls got balls!"

"Wha...err...oh, no way. Total trick of the thai man, I well thought it was a girl. Honest."

"Hmm."

"Yeah...can I have five minutes to finish off?"
by H.S. Willsy August 24, 2011
36 9
 
12.
Preversions are acts commited by preverts, i.e. people who preempt the actions of perverts by doing to a pervert what a pervert would have done to them.
"So what preversions do we know of Inspector?"

"Well there's the reverse jackson, the funky trap, the shepherd's delight and the razorblade romance."

"Nasty stuff, nasty stuff."

"Yes. Beware of the prevert perverts, beware!"
by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011
35 8
 
13.
When someone is completely sober and doing something dull whilst all their friend are out partying, they are radio foured.
"Where were you last night?"

"Radio foured."

"Doing what?"

"I had to go to my girlfriend's grandma's ninety fifth birthday party. What did you get up to?"

"We were snorting comedown-free drugs off naked porn stars for a bit and then we got kebabs."

*SIGHS*
by H.S. Willsy August 24, 2011
31 5
 
14.
When a person who has just recieved pay-off anal sex goes into the bathroom afterwards to freshen up, the noise that they produce as they sit down on the toilet and fart out depraviar is known as a quack echo.
"Whoa! You just hear that quack echo? Leanne must have got lucky!"

"Err, no, i'm in here," shouts Leanne from the kitchen.

"Fuck! It must have been Albert then! That sly old dog."

"Oh yeah, he loves it. And i've got a silencer anyway," explains Leanne, "so you wouldn't hear a quack echo of that magnitude from me."

"A silencer eh? I just do mine in the shower to drown out the noise."

"Classy."

"Oh yeah. Very."
by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011
33 7