Definitions by Goatlips

Peanut 

A woman's clitoris...obviously a woman's, men don't have them.
The clit. The bean . Bald man in a boat, etc.

Her peanut was bigger than my helmet.

Peanut by Goatlips January 22, 2018

Snide Face Syndrome 

Snide Face Syndrome, or simply Snide Face, is an acute condition that occurs when meeting an acquaintance after a long period of absence and lack of contact.

SFS sets in at the point of reunion due to uncertainty of the status of the relationship. One, or both parties, may feel it is right to present a smile. The smile, however, is forced due to the uncertainty of the friendship and results in a contorted, snidey-looking face.

This facial contortion is uncontrollable and can be felt spreading up the face, causing great anxiety to the sufferer, and often lasts for the duration of the conversation.

Old acquaintance: "Hello there...Sorry, I've forgotten your name."
John: "Hi, it's John." *Snide Face Syndrome*

Snide Face Syndrome by Goatlips December 30, 2009

westoned 

Burned. To suffer burning of the skin. Especially severe or 3rd degree burns.

Taken from 'Simon Weston', famous Welsh burns victim who was brainwashed into getting toasted for 'Queen and country', along with 150 other sheeple, aboard RFA Sir Galahad. Compare: reeved

"I nearly westoned myself with a pop-tart earlier!"

westoned by Goatlips August 20, 2008

log cabin 

An enclosed lavatory, containing a toilet, especially when used for defaecation. 'Log' referring to poo, due to its brown coloration and tendency to float. Throne room.

Man with a turtle head: "Jesus Christ! I've gotta go to the log cabin quick!"
Pal: "What?"
Man with a turtle head: "I've got to 'see a man about a log'."
Pal: "Don't you mean 'dog'?"
Man with a turtle head: "No! Out of my way!"

log cabin by Goatlips August 19, 2008

throne room 

Toilet, especially when used to take a dump. 'Throne' - meaning the place you sit to defaecate. See: 'log cabin'

Party-goer needing a shit: "Where's the throne room mate?"
Home owner: "It's at the end of the hall, and I'm not your mate you Cockney prick!"

throne room by Goatlips August 19, 2008

log 

1.A brown oblong object, often found floating in a toilet, consisting of faecal waste. A turd. Especially a large one.

2.A brown oblong object, often capable of floating, consisting of bark-coated wood. A thick branch or trunk of a woody plant, no longer attached to said plant. Usually the product of a tree surgeon.

3.Something you use in Mathematics which no one ever uses IRL.

Person in need of a poop: "I gotta go 'see a man about a log'."
Pal: "Don't go leaving any logs in the pan (toilet bowl). My girlfriend's round later."

log by Goatlips August 19, 2008

pan

1.Lavatory pan or toilet bowl, where turd-catching water wells (to decrease skid marks and vile cabbage gases). Usually white and made from enamel.

2.Some creepy, faggish, man-goat creature of Greek mythology. Played the panpipes (conch shell)...or something.

3.Frying pan.

Person in dismay: "Well, that idea's 'gone down the pan'."
Colleague: "You mean, we should've just screwed up the plans and flushed them down the toilet?"
Person in dismay: "Correctamundo"

pan by Goatlips August 18, 2008