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1 definition by Fernando of SF and BAHS

 
1.
The ultimate sign of respect coming from the Meksikan God father, Fernando of San Fernando CAlifornia (city named after His majesty). Only the chosen few can receive "Handos" in their life time, and only those strong enough have witnessed it. Not everyone can give them out.
So many ask "how do i give Handos? It's quite simple really. First you and the person you are giving handos to make a fist. Then you reflect on all the laws you have broken throughout your life in less than a second and pound your fist together. Once the act of Handos has been completed, the person who received the Handos is free to give them to who ever he wishes.
There are a couple of rules, though!!!
A person who has never received Handos (a handos virgin)must receive his first Handos from His greatness, Fernando of San Fernando! This is a crucial step that cannot be skipped!!! If a Handos Virgin receives his first Handos from anyone else besides Fernando, those Handos are unofficial!!!! Anyone giving unofficial Handos will have to deal with Fernando himself and his 2 most trusted associates, Domingo and Gursi. This is an automatic death sentence.
So what are Handos really? Handos is just a way of saying Handles, but sloppier.
Going to heaven is ALMOST as good as getting handos, but not quite as satisfying.
How can Handos help u in life?
Lets say you are competing for a job against some nerd who has a Masters degree from harvard and a Doctrine from Yale. You only have a High school diploma and a rubber band in your pocket. But you also tell the interviewer that on numerous occasions you received Handos. Who gets the job? You guessed it, You do!!
So ask not what Handos can do 4 u, but what u can do for Handos.
Andrew: I fucked Irene.
Fernando: Handos (fists pounded together)
by Fernando of SF and BAHS December 08, 2008