1)The ability to give oneself a blowjob, much as the LOR character must have been able to.
2)Led the Indian subcontinant in rebellion against the British empire by use of non-violent civil disobedience
3)Lord of the Jungle
4)The result of sneezing on your windshield.
5)A nagging feeling that somebody is stalking you in their underwear. Or someone else's underwear, that's not really the issue, is it?
6)The secretion from the tip of the penis.
1)Frodo knew the ring was affecting him when he realized he didn't need Sam to blow him anymore. He could give himself a Smeagol.
2)Smeagol was assasinated within a year of gaining independance for the people of India.
3)Jane was strangely drawn to Smeagol, and would throw him fish in order to get him to blow himself. This aroused her and nauseated her at the same time.
4)The police officer pulled the car over, because of a high density of smeagol obstructing the driver's view. Who knew, it was David Hasselhof! The officer squeegeed a souvenir and let the singer/actor go on his way with a warning.
5)The naked cowboy was following me around Times Square the other day. WTF?
6)The hobbits understood from Gandolf that circumsision would rid them of any more problems from Smeagol.