6 definitions by Fast Eddie, AKA The KOS

Top Definition
This is the aptly-named "signature accomplishment" of Mumbles Obama, Master of the Universe, Borg Hive Queen of the Libtard Lemmings, and the Senator who voted "Present" for his entire career.

Sold as "free", "fair" and "necessary", it is projected to cost $3,000,000,000,000 (that's trillion for the math-challenged) over the first 10 years, and it is so poorly conceived and designed, it will bring the US economy to its knees. But when that happens it will be Bush's fault.

So unpopular, it could only be passed by Hairy Reid and Botox Pelosi without anybody reading the 2800 pages, without a single vote of the Republican party, and only with a variety of bribes to Democrats (see 100M Medicaid subsidy to Louisiana, $45M to Nebraska). Remember, we have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.

Once the covers come off, the Sheeple will finally understand what the adults knew all along.. It's just a one big assfucking.
Larry: Hey, I just got a letter that said my medical insurance is cancelled. WTF?

Mary: Did this call coincide with a really huge pain in your rectum?

Larry: Yeah, how did you know that?

Mary: Dude, you just got a dose of Obamacare!
by Fast Eddie, AKA The KOS October 26, 2013
A term that former liberals co-opted when they discovered that their delusional beliefs didn't fit any recognized definition of the word liberal.

These fools are frequently self-loathing, unsuccessful losers who can only feel better by projecting their failures onto their opponents.

A "Progressive" is identified by the following behaviors/beliefs:

- Knows what is best for everybody else
- Claims to be well-informed even though they get their news/talking points from the Daily KOS and/or MSNBC

- Believes that personal wealth is evil yrt they fawn over wealthy celebrities and limousine liberals

- Believes corporations and profit are evil, and will tweet about this 24/7 on their fancy iPad

- Thinks name-calling and demonizing opponents is the same as debate

- Accuses every person with a dissenting view of being a racist

- Supported Occupy Wall Street from the comfort of their living room, not the rape tent

- Drives a Prius with a COEXIST bumper sticker
- Believes in the rights of everyone, except those who disagree

- Thinks the Constitution is flawed because they can't control all 3 branches of government

- Believes YOUR success could only have come at THEIR expense

- Believes Al Gore is right about global warming, even though his carbon footprint 100X of the average person

- Thinks voter identification is racist, because it discriminates against dead people
Conservative: I believe in personal responsibility and smaller government

Progressive: You racist hate-monger

Conservative: You said you believed in equal rights for everybody

Progressive: Racist! You should die!
by Fast Eddie, AKA The KOS November 04, 2013
Despite being incapable of stringing two cogent thoughts together, this low-intellect goober will drone on endlessly, boring everyone with their sophomoric points of view. Their speech is often unintelligible and paced like a metronome. They are completely unaware that their audience just wants them to shut the fuck up.
What's up with Barry? He's driving everybody crazy.

He hasn't been the same after he lost his job at KFC.

Now he's just a mumbletard who can't shut up with no job and no friends.
by Fast Eddie, AKA The KOS October 26, 2013
A derisive synonym for "French".

Most often used by the British who despise their arrogant neighbors to the south, this term is borne of the French disdain for personal hygiene. As an example, the Stench invented the bidet, a device to wash your crotch, while leaving the rest of your body smelling like rotten eggs. Go figure.
Nigel: I sat next to this heathen on the Chunnel train to Paris today, and I got so sick I threw up.

Winston: Why was that, mate?

Nigel: I think this disgusting tosser was Stench.

Winston: Blimey, those people really stink.
by Fast Eddie, AKA The KOS November 04, 2013
A tosser who has become so intolerable, that douchebag is no longer adequate to describe their level of douche.

Generally speaking, one is a douchebag before they graduate to douchebucket, but some losers can go straight to bucket level (See: @ChrislHayes)
Smitty: Dude, I smashed my brand new flat screen with a brick!

Leroy: Why da fuck did you do dat?

Smitty: I was watching MSLSD and that little twerp in woman's glasses was yammering and I lost it.

Leroy; That muhfuh is a douchebucket.
by Fast Eddie, AKA The KOS October 26, 2013
Wanking, tossing, or spanking the monkey.
Dude, I can't go out tonight. I got no money, so I'm going to stay home, dial up some porn, and I'll be cuffing the carrott.
by Fast Eddie, AKA The KOS November 04, 2013

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