2 definitions by Fakespeare

When a guy spanks or slaps another person with semen on his hand - i.e. just after masturbating.

This is a generally condescending move on par with tea-bagging, and - if executed properly - causes considerable distress on the recipient's end. Do not attempt this on someone that is physically stronger than you because they will perceive it as a sign of great disrespect.
"John was being a real douche last night, so I jerked it to a picture of his girlfriend and then spunked him in his sleep."

"Dude, knock it off or I'll spunk you."
by Fakespeare April 17, 2009
A person who is perpetually sending/reading text messages, such to the effect that their behavior is considered rude and/or anti-social. This term is generally used condescendingly, or at least with some degree of disdain.
"Scott sure is being a buzzkill tonight - he hasn't looked up from his Blackberry once since he got here."
"Yeah, talk about a textasaurus rex."
by Fakespeare April 12, 2009

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