Pie I'd like to fuck; everyone has had one of these experiences.
You take a fresh baked oven out of the pie and it's sitting on the counter- mocking you. The only thing that can possibly overcome your lust for this fresh baked American goodness is some good fornication.
One must not go overboard when seeing just any pie. Many pies are attempting to be PILFs but us PILFHunters know the different- those imitation pies are just sluts!
Wife: Honey! I baked you a fresh pie!
Husband: *blood begins to boil- level of lust increases* OMFG! I MUST HAVE YOU HONEY!