Slang for a sexually transmitted disease rising in popularity in the United States. Its most common among drug users and the pooper areas. The proper name for "the garf" is Bacterial Intestinal Miracitis. The disorder is known to last over a span of years and can be controlled by sulfonamide class synthetic antibiotics.
The worst fact about the Garf is that there is no known protection against its infection, not even condoms. Symptoms are subtle at first and bloom within a 2 to 3 months. Initial symptoms include fatigue, sleep pattern changes, dry mouth, and muscle ache. Anyone with this disease should be checked in immediately.
Jen gave Tim the garfer so I'll be at his funeral.
Assclunch originated from the the latin phrase "A mari usque ad marius" which was a sexual act where the Emperor of Rome would two butt cheeks, one a man, one a woman and insert his penis between them both, effectively making himself an instant-bisexual.