3 definitions by De La Vega
Originating from ancient Israel and the Hebrew language, Jesse when directly translated means "God Is", as a statement of God's eternal nature and glory; past, present and future. Bears a similar statement to God referring to Himself as "I Am" in the Bible. Later on, other meanings were attributed as being "Gift", "Wealth" and "Wealthy", but it's true meaning serves as the ultimate expression of God's infinite/eternal nature.
Furthermore, as per Hebrew naming culture and language traditions, the name "Jesse" is an exclusively male name. There is only one proper spelling of "Jesse", and that is without the "i" in it. Many centuries later, the name "Jessica" was created as the female version, however, enough time passed and morons started naming their girls "Jessie" instead of "Jessica", or worse yet, just "Jesse"; thus the abomination was born. Jesse is not and has never been or will be a unisex name, it is 100% masculine going back thousands of years.
The name Jesse is straight out of the Bible; the father of King David. It is a name that exuberates masculinity and godliness.
There are two kinds of Jesse: the Christian Jesse and the godless Jesse, the alpha Jesse and the beta Jesse, the tall Jesse and (heaven forbid) the short Jesse, the true Jesse and the faux Jesse.
If you should stumble across the true Jesse, a tall Christian alpha male, then marry him quick before he's gone forever. Also prone to being a badass and old-fashioned. Tells great stories, too.
Furthermore, as per Hebrew naming culture and language traditions, the name "Jesse" is an exclusively male name. There is only one proper spelling of "Jesse", and that is without the "i" in it. Many centuries later, the name "Jessica" was created as the female version, however, enough time passed and morons started naming their girls "Jessie" instead of "Jessica", or worse yet, just "Jesse"; thus the abomination was born. Jesse is not and has never been or will be a unisex name, it is 100% masculine going back thousands of years.
The name Jesse is straight out of the Bible; the father of King David. It is a name that exuberates masculinity and godliness.
There are two kinds of Jesse: the Christian Jesse and the godless Jesse, the alpha Jesse and the beta Jesse, the tall Jesse and (heaven forbid) the short Jesse, the true Jesse and the faux Jesse.
If you should stumble across the true Jesse, a tall Christian alpha male, then marry him quick before he's gone forever. Also prone to being a badass and old-fashioned. Tells great stories, too.
The Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go. I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.” 1 Samuel 16:1
"My grandfather was named Jesse, my father was named Jesse, I was named Jesse, and at least one of my sons will be named Jesse; no surprise then that we're all ex-military and handsome men with charm and wit..."
"Yes my name is Jesse, yes I am a lady's man, yes I am wealthy, yes I am Christian, obviously I'm tall, no I'm already taken."
"I was nervous about meeting my new boss, until I learned he's a Jesse! What a relief!"
Jesse: "My dear, will you marry me?"
Jessie: "Yes!!!"
Jesse: "Good girl. Also, you're changing your name to Jessica before we get married."
If your name is not Jesse, then you will never be a true Jesse.
"Bitch I'm flawless!" -- Jesse
"My grandfather was named Jesse, my father was named Jesse, I was named Jesse, and at least one of my sons will be named Jesse; no surprise then that we're all ex-military and handsome men with charm and wit..."
"Yes my name is Jesse, yes I am a lady's man, yes I am wealthy, yes I am Christian, obviously I'm tall, no I'm already taken."
"I was nervous about meeting my new boss, until I learned he's a Jesse! What a relief!"
Jesse: "My dear, will you marry me?"
Jessie: "Yes!!!"
Jesse: "Good girl. Also, you're changing your name to Jessica before we get married."
If your name is not Jesse, then you will never be a true Jesse.
"Bitch I'm flawless!" -- Jesse
by De La Vega November 12, 2017
The short form of the Spanish last name De la Vega or "Of the plain/meadow". Anyone who has the last name Vega by blood is related to others who have that last name by blood, though the name has gained variety over the centuries such as "La Vega", "Vegas", or just "Vega". The House of De la Vega is a house of nobility existing in Spain from the Castile region, and has been around ever since the first Spanish kingdoms before their unification into the nation of Spain. Being of prestigious nobility, the Vega house was also involved in some coup attempts to claim the throne and rule over much of Spain. Being staunch Christians and loyal to the Catholic Church, some of the Vega house traveled west to the New World and started the many families in North America that bear the name of Vega, however again, anyone living in North America who has the Vega last name from their parents is related to other Vegas, with a common ancestor probably living three or four hundred years ago, from the time of immigration. The Vegas, also being of an old noble house, never had to pay taxes, and still don't even in Spain today. There are roughly 110,000 Vegas in the world. Also some gaming company that made SF 2 had a character in it named "Vega", and this is where most morons tend to associate the name "Vega" from. Some travelers on the way to California long ago passed through an oasis in Nevada, and they named it "Las Vegas", meaning "The meadow(s)", because of it being an oasis in the desert.
1. I despise America constantly taxing me, but since I speak Spanish as a second language and I'm very rich, and my last name is De la Vega, I'm going to get Spanish citizenship and request the King grant me a title of nobility, so I don't have to pay ridiculous income taxes anymore.
2. First idiot: "OH MAN your last name is Vega?! Vega was so badass in Street Fighter 2!!"
Vega: (facepalm) "I'm surrounded by morons."
3. First: "My last name is 'Smith'; sounds cool, huh?"
Second: "Your ancestors were likely craftsmen or peasants."
First: "Oh yeah, what were yours then huh dickhead? Vega doesn't sound like anything important."
Second: "My family bloodline is of Spanish aristocracy going back over one thousand years, and if I were born in Medieval times, I'd be a knight, and you'd be a peasant."
2. First idiot: "OH MAN your last name is Vega?! Vega was so badass in Street Fighter 2!!"
Vega: (facepalm) "I'm surrounded by morons."
3. First: "My last name is 'Smith'; sounds cool, huh?"
Second: "Your ancestors were likely craftsmen or peasants."
First: "Oh yeah, what were yours then huh dickhead? Vega doesn't sound like anything important."
Second: "My family bloodline is of Spanish aristocracy going back over one thousand years, and if I were born in Medieval times, I'd be a knight, and you'd be a peasant."
by De La Vega July 30, 2013
"Woke": A state of leftist liberal brainwashing and propaganda imposed on society through politics, media, public education and peer pressure under the guise of "social justice" and political activism, with the goals of dismantling European white ethnic and national identity, conservative ethics, common sense and universal Christian moral and family values.
Braindead leftist liberal moron: "I'm so woke I hate all white people, am unashamedly a supporter of BLM, Antifa, LGBTQ and I hate all Christians too! And I hate God, and conservatives, and capitalism, and property rights, and free speech and free thought and critical thinking and common sense and...and...and...whatever else my beloved celebrity idols tell me to hate! And I love communism and socialism and...and...and whatever else my celebrity idols tell me to love and support! Yeah! Social justice! Screw white people!"
Normal person: "Cringe!"
Normal person: "Cringe!"
by De La Vega October 5, 2023