A reference to the television show "Torchwood", a "Captain Jack" refers to a problem solving technique in which a party seduces every person between themselves and their goal.
Captain Jack Harkness: "The last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that... I woke up in bed with both of my executioners. Lovely couple, they stayed in touch! Can't say that about most executioners."
Captain Jack Harkness: "The last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that... I woke up in bed with both of my executioners. Lovely couple, they stayed in touch! Can't say that about most executioners."
Lucy : I can't believe I blew my professor and only got a "B".
Darcy : Well you know he doesn't even submit the grades. It's the teaching assistant that does that, and you should probably should also have fucked the anorexic guy that sends out the reports if you really cared about your grade.
Lucy : Hey, I don't think I could stand going full "Captain Jack" just for a good E-Sci grade. It's not like it was a core class. Besides, my TA was girl and she wasn't pretty.
Darcy : Sometimes you gotta take one for team Lucy.
Lucy : True that. My main skill is that I'm a massive slut.
Darcy : Well you know he doesn't even submit the grades. It's the teaching assistant that does that, and you should probably should also have fucked the anorexic guy that sends out the reports if you really cared about your grade.
Lucy : Hey, I don't think I could stand going full "Captain Jack" just for a good E-Sci grade. It's not like it was a core class. Besides, my TA was girl and she wasn't pretty.
Darcy : Sometimes you gotta take one for team Lucy.
Lucy : True that. My main skill is that I'm a massive slut.
by Darker August 4, 2011
Get the Captain Jackmug. An act of self-pleasure intended purely for the function of dealing with cronic stress. In many cases; this form of masturbation is grossly satirized with descriptions of men grinding their teeth, audibly growling, and exhibiting a pulsating forehead vein.
Larry : Dude writing my thesis fucking sucks. I'm going to fucking kill myself.
Barry : Dude ... take it easy man you know ... go home ... have a sandwich.
Larry : We are fucking beyond sandwiches here.
Barry : Have you tried furious mastrabation?
Larry : Furious masturbation?
Barry : Masturbating FURIOUSLY, just grabbing that little purple soldier and choking the fucking life out of him while you sit and think about how much your life fucking sucks.
Larry : You’re a genius Barry. I now understand why that bruise on your temple has never healed.
Barry : Dude ... take it easy man you know ... go home ... have a sandwich.
Larry : We are fucking beyond sandwiches here.
Barry : Have you tried furious mastrabation?
Larry : Furious masturbation?
Barry : Masturbating FURIOUSLY, just grabbing that little purple soldier and choking the fucking life out of him while you sit and think about how much your life fucking sucks.
Larry : You’re a genius Barry. I now understand why that bruise on your temple has never healed.
by Darker January 21, 2010
Get the furious mastrabationmug. A female not content with the accoutrements of standard skankhood who purposefully wears clothing with rips and tears in the fabric.
Randy : Fuck man, check that bitch.
Andy : What Shelly, that girls a turbo skank dude. You sink your pole, and you'll be at the VD clinic tomorrow.
Andy : What Shelly, that girls a turbo skank dude. You sink your pole, and you'll be at the VD clinic tomorrow.
by darker July 19, 2009
Get the Turbo Skankmug. In the annuals of recorded history known as the Facebook news-feed one will typically notice several girls on you friend list using the "status update" feature to bitch about their lives. All women tend to complain, but in a case of specific fat chick aggression syndrome the complaints will have a typically "sharp edge", and will go beyond any of the normal bounds of conversation. For example, a normal case of female bullshit could involve a young gentleman or a failed exam, but unique to fat chick aggression is the consistent update of mental, social, and physical failure along with an implicit request for support. True sufferers should fire off one of these posts at least twice weekly.
These are examples of Facebook status updates where the term "Fat Chick Aggression" could be a good descriptor.
Amanda : My friend said that if your going to jump off a bridge set yourself on fire so we can all see it. I'm jumping off my bridge.
Shiloh : My dad once told me I failed to live up to his expectations.
Amber : My parents called me today. I don't think they understand ....
Kate : I can't believe how shitty life is. I just watched "The View", and there was someone on there basically saying that people with manic depression should just "suck it up". After watching the other lady on there I think I'm bipolar too. That guy was such a jerk!!!
Amanda : My friend said that if your going to jump off a bridge set yourself on fire so we can all see it. I'm jumping off my bridge.
Shiloh : My dad once told me I failed to live up to his expectations.
Amber : My parents called me today. I don't think they understand ....
Kate : I can't believe how shitty life is. I just watched "The View", and there was someone on there basically saying that people with manic depression should just "suck it up". After watching the other lady on there I think I'm bipolar too. That guy was such a jerk!!!
by Darker June 9, 2011
Get the Fat Chick Aggressionmug. A fairy tale divorce is something that a man and woman both might hear about from their friends, and to each the term has a fundamentally different connotation. To a male, a fairy tale divorce implies an escape from a marriage with only minor fiscal, physical, and emotional losses. To a female, a fairy tale divorce means that ex-hubbie decided that a good divorce lawyer was a luxury he could not afford.
Charlie : So Rich are how did it work out with the lawyers?
Richard : She got the house, but I got the car and the camp.
Charlie : You know you got off pretty lucky on this one.
Richard : Yeah, I can't deny it fuckin' fairy tale divorce as far as I'm concerned.
Charlie : She let you off pretty easy for all that screwing around.
Richard : Yep, stupid and big tits that's what I married her for. Hopefully, she finds a nice rich dude who enjoys watching desparate housewives and listening to her talk about the joys of teaching 3rd grade.
Richard : She got the house, but I got the car and the camp.
Charlie : You know you got off pretty lucky on this one.
Richard : Yeah, I can't deny it fuckin' fairy tale divorce as far as I'm concerned.
Charlie : She let you off pretty easy for all that screwing around.
Richard : Yep, stupid and big tits that's what I married her for. Hopefully, she finds a nice rich dude who enjoys watching desparate housewives and listening to her talk about the joys of teaching 3rd grade.
by Darker August 10, 2010
Get the fairy tale divorcemug. An individual who due to a combination of disturbing appearance and an apparant lack of social graces is preordained to become a creeper in later life.
Jean : Hey Jen check out the creeplet.
Jen : What the fuck is creeplet?
Jean : That werido over there. I mean right now -- he just looks outa place, but give him five years and beer belly, and he'll be all like creepy uncle on every girl in this bar.
Jen : What the fuck is creeplet?
Jean : That werido over there. I mean right now -- he just looks outa place, but give him five years and beer belly, and he'll be all like creepy uncle on every girl in this bar.
by Darker August 23, 2009
Get the Creepletmug. A "ghetto black Friday sale" describes any home robbery that takes place in the days immediately following the Black Friday shopping extravaganza. It is assumed that homes are targeted during this time due to an increased chance of new electronics being present in the house, and a general interest by local burglars in sharing in the holiday shopping tradition.
Kevin : So there was a ghetto black Friday sale at my house yesterday.
Dave : You mean some black people broke into your house and stole your family's stuff?
Kevin : Pretty much.
Dave : You mean some black people broke into your house and stole your family's stuff?
Kevin : Pretty much.
by Darker December 1, 2010
Get the Ghetto Black Friday Salemug.