1 definition by Danielx

Top Definition
A swede is a citizen of Sweden. The plural is swedes. Not to be mistaken for people from Switzerland. The main difference is that swiss people eat a lot of chocolate and wear lederhosen all day. Sweden is located in Scandinavia, right next to Norway and Denmark.

Swedes listen to rock music and have sex all the time, often while drinking beer and talking trash about the norwegians. We also take pride in creating some of the best pornographic material in the world.

Swedes are also known for their fine automobile manufacturers - Volvo (owned by Ford) and SAAB. SAAB also manufactures one of the best fighter aircraft models to date - the SAAB JAS 39 Gripen.

Sweden, the natural habitat of the swedes, is in many ways identical to America. In fact, we're just a smaller version of America. Instead of George Willy Bush (I find his name so amusing) we have Göran Persson, also known as the advocate of Satan. Now that I think about it, every swedish political party leader is an advocate of Satan.

Instead of having african-american citizens, we imported middle-eastern people. The only difference is that arabs aren't anywhere near as cool as real blacks. Plus, they have to shave their eyebrows or it grows into a unibrow. The arabs in Sweden all drive BMWs. Don't ask me how they can all afford one.

How do swedes act socially, you ask? Well ... most swedes are kinda up-tight and would most likely be viewed upon as slightly homosexual by americans. This homosexual breed of swedes are known as fjortisar and can be both male and female. The females are more slutty than gay actually, which is great. For more information about fjortisar, click this link: fjortisar/fjortis.

What else can I tell you about this peculiar and somewhat odd people? We have a very sophisticated educational system, which is why you can't tell my writing apart from that of an american author. You're more likely to mistake the american author for an outlander.

Sweden is a very affordable and fun country, but all we get is german tourists taking pictures of everything from half-dead drunks to McDonald's restaurants.

Most swedes are very gifted at video-gaming. One such swede is HeatoN the CS-player, and of course myself - Danielx.

Swedes were once vikings. During our viking days, we raped nuns and plundered the riches of gay people from France. Sadly, I was not around back then (this was around 1500-2000 years ago) but that doesn't stop me from wearing a helmet and drinking beer like there's no tomorrow. Around 100-300 years ago a bunch of swedes went to America to dig gold. Unfortunately, there was no gold and they all went to settle down in Minnesota instead. So if you're from that region, you might just be the descendant of a gold-thirsty swede, which would explain the extremely large penis and buff physique you would have in that case.

So, to summarize things ... Swedes are awesome. Dolph Lundgren and Peter Stormare are from Sweden, you know. The only good example of a good swedish flick that does not contain a blonde chick screaming "Åh, ja! Knulla mig hårdare, Lasse!" I can think of is Hamilton. So you should really download that.

One last thing ... Not every swede has blonde hair and blue eyes. And not every female is named Helga or every male named Lars.
I don't really have an example. Google 'swede' and something should come up.
by Danielx August 11, 2006
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