20 definitions by Chris Norton

n.
a promiscuous woman who is dangerous to date long-term or marry because she has extreme emotional baggage and a first-class attitude.
Men, beware of these hose monsters who look pretty now because you'll regret it later when you marry her.
by Chris Norton January 8, 2007
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an insult towards fat people. the humor of the term gets its punch because it rhymes with actor Matt Damon.
Doug: Carrie! You ARE abusive towards me! You make fun of my weight all the time!

Carrie: I do not!

Doug: Oh yeah? What about the time you called me Fat Damon? That was five minutes ago!!
by Chris Norton February 24, 2009
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v.
when a woman engages in various sexual positions where she is atop the man
Chris: She would climb it. She'd be climbing it all night long.
by Chris Norton April 4, 2007
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n.
long term memory bank of a person's favorite sexually stimulating memories with some fair internal organization for the individual to regularly consult for sexual self-stimulation when needed.
Since I was old enough, my spank bank directory contains almost all my memories of panty & thong sightings even dating back to the earliest days I've learned to wank and I still continue to use them to this day.
by Chris Norton January 16, 2007
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in dating, this is a lineup of associates who specialize in your tastes. as in baseball the manager needs a starting pitcher, middle reliever and a closer. in dating, some people various have fetishes and tastes. a bullpen satisfies an individual's various sexual needs. a bullpen is also a good way to keep a man from becoming pussywhipped.
tom leykis tells all his sons avoid girlfriends and instead to keep a bullpen. he's a smart guy who knows everything men need to know in order to get laid.

Tom: Sometimes I'm a chubby chaser, sometimes I like asians, and sometimes I like MILFs. My bullpen has these types along with the hotties.
by Chris Norton February 6, 2009
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interj.
expression indicating one's approval of a worthy event.

n.
short, exterrestrial alien geniuses, who also have excellently huge martian butts.
1. Bill: You are most worthy of your reputation, plus you have an excellently huge martian butt!
Station: Station.

2. Please give a warm welcome for Station's most bodacious creations- the Good Robot Usses!
by Chris Norton January 9, 2007
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a list you keep of the two baggers, psycho women, feminists, butterfaces, reverse butterfaces and other such women you shouldn't date. this no spank bank directory can be shared with other guys in your posse to forewarn them that these women are not date-worthy.
i do my fellow men a service by keeping a no spank bank directory to protect men from these hose monsters who can get basic instinct on you.
by Chris Norton January 30, 2009
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