88 definitions by Chernorizets Hrabr

The word "stoner" is commonly used to describe someone who smokes marijuana or hash on a regular basis. Stoners consider themselves to be friendly, fun-loving, non-judgemental, and harmless. Rarely mentioned, however, is how lazy, worthless, annoying, flakey, boring and unproductive a good 95% of them are. A common phrase used among stoners is "I don't need weed to have fun", yet strangely you never see them go a day without it.

Stoners, in their "enlightened" state, are the first to speak out against controversial issues and injustices but the very last to ever lift a finger over it. Most (but not all) tend to resemble the character Shaggy from the cartoon show Scooby Doo in either looks or general behaviour. A stoner will tell you how great a sense of humor he has, but usually laughs at things that are not truly that funny in a sober state of mind.

When confronted about their overall worthlessness, stoners vehemently deny that smoking weed makes them losers or hinders success in life. While some successful people DO indeed smoke marijuana, they are usually not actually stoners, meaning they partake only occassionaly and not as a lifestyle. The few stoners who ARE successful and live fulfilling lives are a rare breed, and not truly representative of what it is to be a stoner. Unbeknownst to them, there is a difference between a pot smoker and a full-out stoner.

If you are a stoner, you should be ashamed of yourself and extinguish your joint on your own exposed flesh immediately. Aim higher, get a girlfriend, find a new hobby, and get a decent job. Then when you discover better things in life, you'll finally figure out why everyone looked down on you.
Stoners believe that smoking weed likens them to famous figures such as Jimi Hendrix, 50 Cent, Ali G, Johnny Knoxville, Bill Clinton, Cheech & Chong and Bob Marley. Guess what? It doesn't.
by Chernorizets Hrabr October 18, 2006

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Should seperate North Jersey and South Jersey into two different states, because many things about them are totally different.

South Jersey: Home of wannabe-Italians, suburbs, overwhelming white majority, farmland, lots of Philly influence (more Flyers fans here than in Philly), close proximity of convenience stores, Pine Barrens, tourist attractions, popular beaches, AC, malls.

North Jersey: Everything in Jersey that was cool about 30 years ago (Asbury Park, Hoboken, etc), more racially diverse, urban, older-looking than South Jersey, lots of New York influence, high pollution, and the stereotypical nasal accent... overall, just looks more depressing.
Most insults directed at New Jersey apply only to North Jersey.
by Chernorizets Hrabr July 15, 2004

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CRAIDS is a hilarious disease in which the patient in question has somehow sexually contracted both Crohn's Disease AND AIDS.

Some people believe CRAIDS is the worst disease ever, as not only is a CRAIDS patient unable to enjoy red meat without bloody, watery diarrhea, but also can't have sex with anyone ever again aside from other CRAIDS patients. There is only one known case of CRAIDS in the world.

Others believe CRAIDS to be the best disease because it is easily made fun of. Crohn's Disease is humorous because it involves massive shits and is not fatal. AIDS is laugh-eliciting due to it's prevalence among the gays, and because it is an '80s disease. Therefore, CRAIDS is fast becoming a wide topic of ridicule among late night talk show hosts.
Pat: NLLLEEEhhhh, I just accidentally ate a burger and a bunch of white blood cells came out in my shit! Must be my CRAIDS actin up, dude! YOOOOOOOOOO DUDE
by Chernorizets Hrabr February 09, 2010

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Shitty overrated Dutch beer that is always bitter and skunky, no matter how old it is, much like Stella Artois.
Americans: Unless it's from the UK or Bulgaria, don't drink imported beer.
by Chernorizets Hrabr November 22, 2004

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A trailor-trash beer that no one would drink if it wasn't so cheap and didn't have a little bit higher alcohol content than the standard.
Natty Ice is even worse than Canadian beer.
by Chernorizets Hrabr December 05, 2004

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See non-existant. Bisexuality is a myth; a fable, if you will. The term refers to a fantasy orientation in which a man or woman is physically attracted to both genders, however, these so-called bisexuals will only be seen dating members of one sex and occassionaly hooking up with the other. This is done by attention whores.

Women who consider themselves bisexual are actually:
A.) So undesirable and irritating to be around that they have to hook up with other women as a last ditch effort for attention.
B.) Dikes.

Men who consider themselves bisexual are actually:
A.) Gay.

Bisexuals can typically be found at Hot Topic or at lame emo/hardcore shows.
Robin: Guy's think it's pretty hot that I'm a bisexual.

Alex: You're bi? Where's your girlfriend?

Robin: Well, I have a boyfriend. I don't have a girlfriend right now...

Alex: Have you ever?

Robin: Uhh, no... but I DID kiss another girl at a party the other night.

Alex: Riiiiiiigght.
by Chernorizets Hrabr February 17, 2008

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Avid listeners of the alternative metal band known as Tool. Tool fans believe that, by listening to music with no concept of time signatures and pseudo-cryptic lyrics sang by a man known as Maynard Ivory James Keenan Wayans, it puts them on a higher intellectual and musical plateau than fans of non-"prog" bands. You can pick a Tool fan out of a crowd easily, by looking for a college student who speaks of issues which he has little to no understanding of, rants about conspiracy theories, is a half-hearted activist and constantly reeks of bong water. A Tool fan, as a rule, will never look presentable, wearing yesterday's hoodie and a baseball cap over his unwashed and shaggy hair.
You know Jeff? That annoying kid who shows up 30 minutes late to class every day with serious redeye and voices his stance on everything from abortion to extraterrestrialism without being asked? I hear he's a big Tool fan. Figures.
by Chernorizets Hrabr August 28, 2006

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