Definitions by Chad Apollo

Polite Acquaintance Zone 

The proper place to consider an ex-lover after a bad break up. Should not be confused with the friend zone.

After she got over her anger about our break up, Nancy wanted to remain friends. But I think it's a better idea to keep her in my polite acquaintance zone.

Polite Acquaintance Zone by Chad Apollo September 26, 2018

Schlong control 

The ability of a man to maintain an erection during sex and to ejaculate exactly when he decides.

A lady always appreciates a considerate lover who has excellent schlong control.

Schlong control by Chad Apollo May 30, 2018

Commitment harassment

A form of social pressure that attempts to shame a person into abandoning a lifestyle that is happy and free. It is often done in a non-confrontational (but sneaky) way, such as asking someone who is divorced and not currently engaged, "So, WHEN are you getting married again?"

What do you mean, "WHEN am I getting married again?" I already did my time. Come on now, isn't it time to stop commitment harassment of happy people?

Commitment harassment by Chad Apollo May 1, 2018

Wang wizard 

A person who is highly skilled at performing fellatio.

Maria is the best girlfriend I've ever had. She's cute, kind, fun and most importantly, an eager wang wizard!

Wang wizard by Chad Apollo February 25, 2018

Erection assassin 

A female with a terrible disposition.

Frank is proud that he no longer has to take viagra. But I think that the credit should go to his new girlfriend. She has an incredibly pleasant disposition and she's not an erection assassin!

Erection assassin by Chad Apollo January 28, 2018

Sexual consent form 

A legal document that has become necessary before sexual activity by new sexual partners in the post #metoo era.

This is my living room and here is my kitchen. Please sign the sexual consent form if you want to see my bedroom.

Sexual consent form by Chad Apollo January 23, 2018

Commitment harassment

A form of social pressure that attempts to shame a person into abandoning a lifestyle that is happy and free.

Hey John, did you notice how she asked me "when" I was getting married again, even though I'm not even dating anyone seriously? I know that she wasn't being malicious, but it was still commitment harassment.

Commitment harassment by Chad Apollo January 12, 2018