47 definitions by Carl J. Maltese

A Bullshit Artist!!

(From the Mel Brooks movie "History of the World, part one.")
Unemployment Office Person: "Name and occupation?"

Comicus: "Comicus, Stand-up Philosopher."

Unemployment Office Person: "A what?"

Comicus: "A Stand-up Philosopher. I take the collasence of daily life and produce anectdotes that have synonymous meaning with various people."

Unemployment Office Person: "Oh. A bullshit artist!"

Comicus: "Uh...Yeah."

Unemployment Office Person: "Well, did you bullshit today? Did you try to bullshit today? Try harder or we'll have to cut-off you payments. Next please!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 07, 2007

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1) A girl (or guy) who thinks they are a model, but in reality they are not. Usually they are just full-of-themselves, among other things!

2) A girl (or guy) who thinks they are a model, but really couldn't and shouldn't! They should take that money they were saving for Barbizon and go buy a mirror!

3) Any girl (or guy) who isn't pretty...they just look that way!!
"There was always that one girl we knew back in high school. The spoiled only-child type who practically smothered herself in makeup and nail polish and was too busy to so much as give you the time of day. She thought she was going to be a model, but in reality she was just another barbizombie, trapped in the endless night-of-the-living-depressed."
by Carl J. Maltese April 26, 2007

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Any sleazey looking, and knowingly disease infected girl/guy whoring themself on the streets.
Whoring on the streets usually limits access to soap and toothpaste.
"blood:" syn. w/ blood born diseases.
"skank:" syn. w/ dirty, unwashed, & skin conditions.
"I made the mistake of picking-up a sleazy bloodskank whoring herself for crack money. Now, all the soap and toothpaste in creation won't clean my disease infected crotch!"
by Carl J. Maltese March 23, 2007

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What you experience in junior college, community college, and/or beauty school.
"After twelve+ years of elementary-junior-senior-high-school and an exciting job in the lucrative field of fast food preperation, I just can't wait to experience the joy of meaningless studies in junior college!"
by Carl J. Maltese June 18, 2007

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1) Any chromed, flashy, tricked-out, or pretentious looking car designed soley for attracting shallow minded women.

2) Any chromed, flashy, tricked-out, or pretentious looking car driven by a pimp.
Tim: "Check-out Danny In is chrome covered cuntmobile!"

John: "Think He'll pick-up chicks in that thing?"

Tim: "Hell! You already know he's a pimp with ten years experience!"
by Carl J. Maltese May 04, 2007

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Toasterphobia is the dreaded fear of sticking a fork into a toaster even after it's been unplugged....because sometimes the toaster remembers!
Mike: "Because of my severe toasterphobia, I have continuous nightmares about being chased by a giant toaster and a giant fork wearing running shoes!"

Art: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 14, 2007

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Ancient CB* term from the late 1970's meaning "prostitute in area." Experienced prostitutes would travel three-or-four to a car equiped with a CB radio and/or police scanner and cruise truck stops at night. During the height of the CB craze in America, some truckers would stay-up all night on their CB's talking and jabbering in their strange CB codes. The prostitutes would cut-in on the conversations announcing "commercial comfort" had arrived. This would then be followed by hand signals or flashed headlights indicating who their next "customer" was.

The term "commercial comfort" was last heard on the dying CB airwaves as late as 1998, just prior to affordable cell' 'phone plans and the Internet took over.

(*Citizens Band radio)
"Breaker-breaker, this here is Cinderella offering commercial comfort back by the gas trucks. Come back on that?"
by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007

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