47 definitions by Carl J. Maltese

A Bullshit Artist!!

(From the Mel Brooks movie "History of the World, part one.")
Unemployment Office Person: "Name and occupation?"

Comicus: "Comicus, Stand-up Philosopher."

Unemployment Office Person: "A what?"

Comicus: "A Stand-up Philosopher. I take the collasence of daily life and produce anectdotes that have synonymous meaning with various people."

Unemployment Office Person: "Oh. A bullshit artist!"

Comicus: "Uh...Yeah."

Unemployment Office Person: "Well, did you bullshit today? Did you try to bullshit today? Try harder or we'll have to cut-off you payments. Next please!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 07, 2007
Supreme Headquarters International Espionage Law-enforcement Division.
In my previous entry I had forgotten to include the word "Espionage." But, as any devout reader of Marvel Comics can tell you, both definitions are correct as Marvel briefly dropped "Espionage" from SHIELD in the late 1970's. They eventually restored it.
by Carl J. Maltese May 07, 2007
Any sleazey looking, and knowingly disease infected girl/guy whoring themself on the streets.
Whoring on the streets usually limits access to soap and toothpaste.
"blood:" syn. w/ blood born diseases.
"skank:" syn. w/ dirty, unwashed, & skin conditions.
"I made the mistake of picking-up a sleazy bloodskank whoring herself for crack money. Now, all the soap and toothpaste in creation won't clean my disease infected crotch!"
by Carl J. Maltese March 23, 2007
What you experience in junior college, community college, and/or beauty school.
"After twelve+ years of elementary-junior-senior-high-school and an exciting job in the lucrative field of fast food preperation, I just can't wait to experience the joy of meaningless studies in junior college!"
by Carl J. Maltese June 18, 2007
1) Any chromed, flashy, tricked-out, or pretentious looking car designed soley for attracting shallow minded women.

2) Any chromed, flashy, tricked-out, or pretentious looking car driven by a pimp.
Tim: "Check-out Danny In is chrome covered cuntmobile!"

John: "Think He'll pick-up chicks in that thing?"

Tim: "Hell! You already know he's a pimp with ten years experience!"
by Carl J. Maltese May 04, 2007
Toasterphobia is the dreaded fear of sticking a fork into a toaster even after it's been unplugged....because sometimes the toaster remembers!
Mike: "Because of my severe toasterphobia, I have continuous nightmares about being chased by a giant toaster and a giant fork wearing running shoes!"

Art: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 14, 2007
Acronym for: Gamma Ray Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.
"Popular Science magazine says the GRASER really does exist.
That's all fine-and-dandy...like we don't have enough weapons of mass destruction at our disposal."
by Carl J. Maltese March 25, 2007

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