1 definition by CapperCodder

Tourist

1. An annoying sort of people who vacation (invade) someone else's living space. They are often found in tropical locations and travel in swarms. But the worst of the tourists plauge Cape Codders with their precence. As soon as June rolls around, the beaches are crowded and littered upon, the roads are filled with countless accidents because of the Tourist's legenday LACK of driving capabilities, and local stores, like Cuffy's and Wings, actually have customers! Tourists are often able to be noticed by their appearant lack of fashion sence (often seen in socks&sandals, a common favorite, or better yet, a cheesey hawaiian T-shirt paired with baggy cargo shorts. The women prefer to have fanny packs and visors attached to them, and often hold their young offspring on leashes.) Most of the Tourists on Cape Cod enjoy stopping at "interesting places" such as The Sandwich Glass Museum or many of the lighthouses that skatter the eroding shoreline. (Like the locals haven't grown bored of that the FIRST time they were forced to appreciate them). Also, they have habits for stopping at crowded restaurants or store, which are filled to the max with Tourists of course, and ask how to get on 'scenic' Route 6A, which often times, they are already driving on. They are recognizeable for their horrible speach (the word 'wicked' is not a part of their limited vocabulary) Many of the locals enjoy scouting for the hot Tourist, the few in millions, and often partake in Cape Codder's favorite pastime: Tourist Tricking. With the locals help, the Tourists may end up standed on a beach, in a rented car, or stuck in one of our many cranberry bogs. Tourists are often the cause of the Cape Codders deepest summertime woes, from clogging the beaches, to clogging the streets, and clogging, well, basically everything. But when Labor Day rolls around, and all that is left are the footprints in the sand, and the cash registers full of cash, the locals are able to withstand the summers, in hopes to survive the tough vacant Cape Cod winters with the cash the Tourists supplied them with in the summer.

In many ways, Tourists are like Cicadas. They come in swarms in the summertime, the locals HATE them for eating everything and making it impossible to be outdoors without immediate frustration, but once their epic plunder is over, the locals reminise of the times they had smacking them around.

"Its Tourist Season!"
"Clear the beaches! The Tourists are coming"

"Route 6A? Hmm... Just take a left on this road...You say its a dirt road? Well, thats okay, its my little shortcut!"

"Thank god the Tourists are gone. I couldn't stand them walking around, digital cameras in hand, taking pictures of every rock, tree, lighthouse, and grain of sand on CAPE COD!"

by CapperCodder January 17, 2009