A homer fan who frequents a rival sports team's fan site (e.g. orangemane.com), and who:
1. Spreads optimistic lies about his own team even though the obvious evidence of massive failure has been cascading down around him and his team for decades;
2. Lives in his mother's basement (even though she lives in a trailer),
3. Has never held a steady job, unless you count buying and selling Star Wars memorabilia on eBay a steady job,
4. Has never, ever kissed a girl he isn't related to and likely never will.
You're moving to Kansas City? Dude, there nothing more pathetic than that. That's totally Bob's Your Information Minister.