9 definitions by Bumsnorkler
A Wedgehead is a member of the British Army's Royal Engineers. The expression dates back to when the Royal Artillery ran away in Crimea forcing the Engineers to rescue their guns before the Russians stole them. In the chaos, they used dead infantry officers' bodies to wedge the wheels to stop the cannons rolling downhill.
by Bumsnorkler March 4, 2019
In a deployed HQ, there is one person who's job it is to make shit happen. This is the Battle Captain & it is a thankless task, involving many hours without sleep, trying to get more senior officers to stop dicking around & actually concentrate on the task in hand. If everything goes swimmingly, the same senior officers get the credit but if it all goes to ratshit, the Battle Captain has his or her buttons cut off, sword is snapped & they are sat on their horse backwards & paraded out of camp
"This is a rolling goatfuck & we are all going to die" followed by "let's blame the Battle Captain".
by Bumsnorkler March 22, 2019
The undercover investigative element of the British Royal Military Police. An organisation that is supposed to blend into the wider military community to mirror the effect that CID provide to civil police. In reality it is populated by a bunch of barely literate mouth breathers who spend all day taking screenshots of Facebook and being outsmarted by even the slowest witted squaddie. Most likely military group to be Swingers.
In Special Investigation Branch office:
SIB: "Look sunshine, we know you did it, confess or else"
Perp: "I didn't do it"
SIB: "Oh, you sure? Well, you'd better get out of here, we'll be watching you"
Perp: "L8rs"
SIB: "Look sunshine, we know you did it, confess or else"
Perp: "I didn't do it"
SIB: "Oh, you sure? Well, you'd better get out of here, we'll be watching you"
Perp: "L8rs"
by Bumsnorkler March 15, 2019
DVD is short for a military distinguished visitors' day and replaced VIP or VVIP as some staff officer thought it was a good idea. DVDing is the flat-spin everyone involved in the DVD goes into. Normally DVDing means everyone stopping whatever they are supposed to be doing for a full day, so the grown-up can be shown stuff that they do not want to see. Bad DVDing means getting sacked. Good DVDing means you move closer to being a grown-up yourself.
This stupid DVD has taken everybody out of the game for 3 days. We have less employees than Tesco, and I bet they don't get this excited when a middle manager wants to visit a store to inspect the pick & mix counter. I hate DVDing.
by Bumsnorkler March 19, 2019
Civsplaining (blend word ‘civvy’ & informal form splaining of gerund ‘explaining’) is pejorative term meaning "(of a civ) to comment on or explain something to #squaddie in condescending, overconfident, often inaccurate or oversimplified manner"
I’m not #civsplaining you thick squaddie twat, I’m giving you guidance based on my considerable military knowledge gleamed from Commando comics & years of mucking thick military types, like MrSnaplegs, around.
by Bumsnorkler August 27, 2019
Bumsnorkling is a practice common in the British Armed Forces. The activity increases to a frenzied peak immediately prior to any annual reports or appraisals.
by Bumsnorkler March 1, 2019
A code word that means a military exercise is complete. It is also the prompt for alcohol deprived soldiers to drop everything, power up vehicles, abandon kit and charge in a mob towards home before first orders. For the Staff Officers, it is time to delete all the evidence, pretend to pay attention in the AAR and not update SOIs, thus landing the next incumbent in the shit.
by Bumsnorkler March 21, 2019