ALL SHIRTLESS WONDERS
SUFFER FROM DOUCHBAGGERY. Ironically, these shirtless wonders are the same guys ("Brah
's", in their native tongue) who spend an absurd amount of $$$ on t-shirts - the term for mass possession of these sparkly, tattoo, and tribal print shirts is known as "DOUCHE-SWAGGERY
An accurate way of identifying these Brah
s is to know that they abide by the exact opposite set of laws that traditional vampires do:
As opposed to being unable to be exposed to sunlight, they actively seek out said sunlit environments. Because of this, you will not see a pale-skinned DB, but rather notice an brown-orange (termed "Bro-orange
" by Crayola).
Also contradictory to vampire dogma, silver or a crucifix does not repel the DB's, as they do vampires. DB's will most often own and wear a silver crucifix, and in extreme cases will wear a silver crucifix overlapping a tattoo of a crucifix, whilst their arm is slung over their main bitch, stage name "Silver".
Also, churches, which provide a place of protection from vampires, hasn't been proven to repel DB's yet; although a DB has never been spotted in a house of God, to date. The best safe haven to run to for protection against DB's is the lower body/legs section of your local gym - DB's are known to avoid this area AT ALL COSTS.
The level of douchebaggery witnessed here tonight by all of the meat heads at the bar caused me to coin a new term; "Juice-bag".