Braveheart's thirst for blood's definitions

someone tells me you've been

A secondhand account of complaint, usually from a person of authority, or by someone who's the teacher's pet (if at school). A sentence of doom. Can happen if you've been sexually harrassing the teacher's daughter, sticking aluminum foil into electrical outlets, shoplifting, etc.

"Someone tells me you've been putting foil in the outlets at school. If you don't respect electicity, I can't let you have electronics in your room." "Someone tells me you've been mooning the principal. Don't you know you can get arrested for that?"

by Braveheart's thirst for blood January 13, 2007

microwaveablelessness

Lacking the ability to be safely be heated by a microwave oven. Things that have microwaveablelessness include 12 oz. soda cans, pressurized cans of R-12, chicken eggs in their shells, sealed film canisters filled with water, dry ice bombs, mercury thermometers, electronics, and lithium-ion batteries.

Saddam learned the hard way about the microwaveablelessness of a camping propane cylinder. He almost lost his house.

by Braveheart's thirst for blood April 1, 2007

pope on a rope

A Pope that has or is in the process of being martyred by means of hanging by the neck with a noosed rope. Compare Christ on a stick.

Back in the first few centuries of Papacy many times you saw a pope on a rope.

by Braveheart's thirst for blood March 24, 2007

mode of failure

1. When talking about machines, the way it dies/becomes permanently unusable/gets bricked/gets broken.
2. Refers to the method by which anything/anyone with a fixed life span meets their doom.

1. An overclocked CPU's mode of failure is usually overheating.
1. If the blown engine's mode of failure is a cracked connecting rod, you should modify the connecting rod to make it stronger.
2. Instead of being stabbed with a spear, a common mode of failure for Presidents of the US who die in office is being shot with a firearm.
2. "In the 1st Millennium, a common mode of failure for Popes was martyrdom."

by Braveheart's thirst for blood August 20, 2006

sexual harassment

The biggest scam perpetrated on America since Scientology.

GodlyMan:"What a nice girly dress you have."
Atheist4Life:"Don't talk to me like that or I'll sue you for sexual harassment!"

by Braveheart's thirst for blood March 24, 2007

Statue

(verb)To ruin the rest of your life via a stupid choice you made. Examples include procreating illegitimate children, landing yourself in jail, drinking and driving resulting in below the neck paralysis, becoming a vegetable from too much drugs, etc. If you end up dying shortly after the mistake, it doesn't count as being statued.

"Finally we run the trojan which causes you to smoke a joint and get 20 years to life. We see a brief image of you getting high on the convenience store's security camera. Your life is now as useful, and entertaining, as a statue."

by Braveheart's thirst for blood April 20, 2006

lately you have

Another one of the sentences of doom. Usually said by your boss after you swiped too many xerox copies or pens from the office, or by your parents when your report card/behavior is not up to snuff.

"Lately you have been throwing pencils in the asbestos ceiling tiles at school. The police are going to investigate this as a death threat. We need to talk!"

by Braveheart's thirst for blood January 13, 2007