2 definitions by Birky 8.5

Top Definition
An elderly individual who annoys the general public by going through what is left of their life in a ridiculously slow fashion. Tasks at which a BAGEL is expert at annoying those around him/her include: driving too slow in the hammer lane, taking too long at the checkout line by counting pennies from a change purse, asking if coupons are still valid (when you are behind them in line and really have to take a monster dump).

Conversely, bagels are a constant source of good humor. This is especially the case when the BAGEL in question is confused about a mundane, day-to-day task, such as the attempted mastry of modern-day technical equipment, gas pumps, and the like. A supremely entertaining example of CONFUSED BAGEL usually involves cellular phones.
Shouted to a BAGEL in a car: "Fucking BAGEL!!!! MOOOOOVE!!!"

by Birky 8.5 July 02, 2007

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Something so disgusting that it is said to have the distinguishing characteristics of both crabs and aids.
What's with that gunky buildup in the sink? That's disgusting! It has craids!
by Birky 8.5 July 02, 2007

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