A thing that makes noise when your jokes aren't funny. Somehow, every single time you tell a bad joke, the damn cricket just happens to be there to mock you. He makes you cry.
Bad comedian: So the monkey says to me "how are you?" haha
Cricket: *cricket* you suck *cricket*
Bad comedian: Boo hoo. :'(
Self-pity is an icky liquid you swim around in when you blame the world for your problems.
People who wallow in self-pity usually go around in a bad mood, feeling sorry for themseleves, feeling they've been wronged some how. They only care about poor little them. They failed because of someone or something else. They don't own up to their own faults.
Darnell: If the teachers in my school would have payed me more attention and got the big bullies off my back, then I wouldn't have been full of self-pity, dropped out, robbed that store, killed 3 people including a child, and got into a police chase that lasted 4 hours and 23 minutes then became an on-foot pursuit through a backyard in the projects where I was tackled then sentenced to prison where I'm getting my ass slamed for 237 years and cleaning the toilet with a toothbrush for my cellmate named Deshawn who makes me pee sitting down.
Mom: k...Dad says hi.
Bo rai cho is a mortal kombat character who's name was taken from the word "borracho" which is spanish for "drunk"
borracho = drunk
Bo Rai cho = Drunk fat farting fool.
One of the most overused and annoying phrases in news history to describe high gas prices. Often used at least once when broadcasting a story that involves gas prices.
Producer: I got it! We'll name the news story "Pain at the pump!"
Assistant Producer: Bloody clever that one!
*400 "Pain at the pump" news stories later*
Producer: Hmm...How about we call this segment "Pain at the pump?"
Assistant Producer: I love it! Very original.
In online gaming, another word for 'level'. When you want to go to another 'level' or 'arena', you'll usually ask them to change the map.
Noob: Man dust2 sucks, lets change the map to de_piranesi
1337 crew admin: Die
Last Lap Syndrome - or LSS, is the annoying fucking disease that plagues racing games everywhere. It usually occurs on the last lap of a long, hard, and/or very important race.
* Ramming into a tiny rose bush that completely totals your car 5 feet from the finish line.
* Leading 99 percent of the race only to be passed by the A.I. while he simultaneously receives a blow job from your girlfriend and flips you off saying "SUCKA!"
* Head on collision with some stupid ass taxi that just had to pull out in front of you causing you to get in last.
* Leaving your sucky ass opponent completely totaled a mile away in his junker, only for him to recover as the best damn racer in the known world - then proceed to leave your slow ass rotting in the gutter while he blows passed you for the win.
Greg: How long have you been trying to beat this track?
Mike: Two days. But I'm in first now; I'm going to win!
Mike: NOOO! I HIT A DAMN LEAF! I HATE THIS FUCKING GAME!
Greg: Heh, sounds like a case of Last Lap Syndrome.
The extended unfinished saying of the word "bird". Before the word is finished being said, the person is usually shot or hit by a car.
Daddy daddy!! Look at the pretty flying Berrrrrrr *POW*