32 definitions by Anonymous submissions

Ejacelation

To be so elated by a perceived favourable outcome in an event, no matter how mediocre, that one proceeds to ejaculate without warning in one's pants, regardless of the social situation.

Dentist: 'You were well behaved at your appointment today David, so here's a sticker'
David: (jizzes in pants)
Dentist: 'Ejacelation?'
David: 'Nope, prostate cancer.'

by Anonymous submissions January 27, 2017

Interrogaytion

An interrogation whereby the interrogator uses ostentatious homosexual behaviour as a means to elicit a confession from a perpetrator.

Interrogator: (completing an interpretive dance routine to 'It's raining men,' whilst dressed in pink hotpants, staring provocatively and deep-throating a banana)
'I can do this all night, sugar pea..'

Perpetrator: 'Okay, okay. I confess, I confess! I did it. Just please make this interrogaytion stop..and kindly remove your penis from my anus.'

by Anonymous submissions February 1, 2017

Epping carnage poo

The official name for the London party borough of Epping, so named because the nightlife there is so wild that even the most reluctant of participants will inevitably lose their shit as the night progresses

'Jesus Christ almighty, what the fuck happened last night? Looks like the Epping carnage poo struck again because I've not only got memory loss but I also appear to have shat the bed. I say shat but it could be Nutella. (sniffs brown stain in question). Nope, it's definitely shit.'

by Anonymous submissions December 22, 2016

masdisturbing

To use a truly disturbing image as wank fodder.

I was at my uncle's funeral yesterday and seeing him there lying cold and expressionless in an open casket brought a tear to my eye. Granted the tear was the end product of some vigorous masdisturbing but that's beside the point. I have to say that it was nice of the Priest to let me finish up before starting the service, although watching him deliver the sermon with my tadpoles still hanging from his gnashers was slightly off-putting.

by Anonymous submissions February 9, 2017