3 definitions by AXKZ
Knows lots of tricks like hiding on command instead of fighting for Alaskans, staying silent even when Donald Trump has been a bad boy, and rolling over instead of thinking independently.
by AXKZ October 29, 2020
The Random Chimp Event is the name for the monkey uprising. Humans evolved from monkeys, this was a mistake, humans evolved past monkeys, leaving them behind, the monkeys didn't forget this, and they are preparing. There is not a lot known about the specifics of the Random Chimp Event, the only things that are known are that it could happen at any point in time and that once it has started there is no stopping it, the monkeys will destroy everything in their path. There are a select, intelligent, few who will rejoice at the Random Chimp Event, knowing that the only way for humanity to survive is to return to monke.
Person 1: *hears the distant, ecstatic screams of monkeys* What is that?
Person 2: It's started.
Person 1: What has?
Person 2: *A single tear wells up in their eye and rolls down their face, it's hard to decern whether it is a tear of joy or sadness, the expression on their face makes it seem like both, they are happy because society will return to the glory of what it used to be, but they are sad that they must die to achieve this utopia but they are willing to because they know it is for the betterment of monkeykind* The Random Chimp Event.
Person 2: It's started.
Person 1: What has?
Person 2: *A single tear wells up in their eye and rolls down their face, it's hard to decern whether it is a tear of joy or sadness, the expression on their face makes it seem like both, they are happy because society will return to the glory of what it used to be, but they are sad that they must die to achieve this utopia but they are willing to because they know it is for the betterment of monkeykind* The Random Chimp Event.
by AXKZ October 30, 2020
Alaska's own bear doctor: Killed a bear, caught lots of fish, not swayed by party politics, independent, health care professional, and running for senate
Person: Oh no, a bear is attacking me!
Dr. Al Gross: Don't worry my child, I am here to save you. *seduces bear and then kills it*
Person: Wow! Thank you, Dr. Al Gross I am going to vote for you because you know how the health care systems works!
Dr. Al Gross: Don't worry my child, I am here to save you. *seduces bear and then kills it*
Person: Wow! Thank you, Dr. Al Gross I am going to vote for you because you know how the health care systems works!
by AXKZ October 29, 2020