Stakeholder 

Meaningless term used in meetings by powerful bureaucrats to subdue dissenters while gaining respect, cooperation, and sympathy from sheeple. The word performs multiple functions at once: 1) it conveys a farcical title upon attendant sheeple, giving them a false sense of self-importance for which they feel thankful to the bureaucrat; 2) it conveys a false sense of empathy, causing attendant sheeple to view the bureaucrat favorably; 3) it gives the bureaucrat the appearance of magnanimity, which in turn makes the bureaucrat seem reasonable and dissenters unreasonable.

Example: School Board Meeting:

Dissenter: Mr. Bureaucrat, how is it possible that our children remain illiterate despite their having attended our district schools for 13 years?

Bureaucrat: Mr. Dissenter, all of us in this room are stakeholders in our wonderful district that is filled with hardworking, selfless teachers and administrators; your undue criticism is damaging all of us.

Stakeholder by TwinCityBoy February 20, 2021

stakeholder savage 

When a person holds stakes in someone's life or business, but abuses that power just to make the person miserable without giving a single damn about it.

"My dad always brings up what he can use against me if I piss him off. He always commits stakeholder savage."

stakeholder savage by J. D. G. September 6, 2020

Stakeholders 

A term widely used in the corporate environment usually by management or workers aspiring to be managers without any intelligence or sense of how stupid they sound.

Stakeholders is a term that usually accompanies other corporate buzz words such as "bandwidth', "paradigm", and "circle back". You generally will not hear words like "stakeholder" in social situations outside of work, yet for some reason, people feel compelled to use them at work just to increase their level of annoyance and stupidity.

Boss: Fred, when you get some bandwidth this morning, lets circle back and address the stakeholders of this project.

Fred: Shut the fuck up and quit acting like an idiot.

Boss: We must address the paradigm of your work ethic.

Stakeholders by Mr Hi October 3, 2011

emotional shareholder 

Someone that is devoted to their sports team. They are sad when the team losses, happy when they win. Their mood depends on their team's status.

Nicole: We made it to the playoffs!! Hopefully we can make it to the World Series!

Josh: I hate people that refer to their sports team as “we.” It’s only appropriate if you are a shareholder.

Nicole: I am a shareholder. I am an emotional shareholder.

Caitlin: Ooh. She got you there, Josh.

emotional shareholder by NicoleLF January 12, 2009

Revenue Shareholder 

A revenue shareholder receives a portion of a company's revenue directly proportionate to the quantity of shares owned; 1% ownership pays 1% of the total net revenue.

The phrased was originally coined by NaturThink when they developed a new kind of business structured around joint ownership with shareholders participating as board members influencing the direction of the company with online votes.

No more greedy executives voting for hefty bonuses and umbrella parachutes

As a revenue shareholder I received 10% of the company's profits.

Revenue Shareholder by intentions101 November 18, 2011

stakeholder 

Term used by an unelected government authority to describe Wall Street investment banks, and community members that are invested in the outcome of a public works project by the mere virtue of their privileged sociological status.

NOTE: The term stakeholders is NEVER inclusive of the poor people most-impacted by the decisions of the specific unelected authority, and are most always subject to bear the heaviest burden of said decisions in the form of tolls, taxes, if not death.

Dude, whoa. The Clinton years are over. You can't reference 'community members' in that mission statement. It's stakeholders' now.

The Louisville and Southern Indiana Bridges Authority wants their project to create a tremendous amount of opportunities for all their stakeholders.

stakeholder by curtster December 26, 2010

stakeholders analysis 

A process of finding the people who are important and have to say yes to make it work, as well as finding the people who are annoying and will say no to stop it from happening.

Gary: At our next Stakeholders Analysis we have to add Linda as a stakeholder because she is the Director and she gets the final say.
Dave: Ok, we also have to add Rob because he's just going to whine and complain and ruin everything if we don't involve him.

stakeholders analysis by Orzo Nacirema June 22, 2017