These pre-human creatures are usually 1 week to 3 months. Above 3 months they're frequently referred to as nipple biters! Nipple nuzzlers are selfish and manipulative little creatures that routinely steal a man's prized toys. They make silly little sounds that human females emulate but that make no sense. Nipple Nuzzlers are members of the sub-species "pleasure interruptis". They are known to make extremely loud bellowing sounds or give off odors that are extremely noxious at very inconvenient times. Unless these creatures are properly placed into development hibernation there will never be peace in the house again. The cuteness is only a front to allow them to gain a hold on the human female. Once that happens it's YEARS to eradicate the infestation!
How about we put the Nipple Nuzzler in his crib, turn off the bellow box and go to our room to play for a little while?
by Grumpy Grandpa August 21, 2014