mouse trap mom

An anxious, delusional mother who enjoins her child to behave by making fantastic claims about the likely consequences of her child's misbehavior. Like the board game Mouse Trap, her claims involve a series of improbable events, ending in disaster.

Mouse Trap Mom: Bobby, stop jumping around! The people in line are holding coffee, and if you bump into them, they are going to spill coffee all over your face, and then you'll be scarred for life, like Seal, except you won't be able to sing well, since you'll break your vocal chords when you cry from the hot coffee burns, so no girls will like you. Out of desperation you'll awkwardly start experimenting with guys. You'll get really drunk one night and have rough sex with a guy in a Chelsea bar and then your ass will be tore up like goatse. You'll never be able to shit right, again, so you'll have to stay away from beans and rice, which is a shame, because they would have prevented you from getting intestinal cancer. So you'll get it and die alone when you are 37. So stop fucking jumping around.

mouse trap mom by nb c lo August 6, 2009

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.

I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.

schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.

"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."

eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016