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master cleanse 

A silly diet endorsed by Hollywood celebs and people who don't know any better. The dieter consumes a concoction of lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne for x number of days. Not usually recommended by any doctor in his right mind, but if you must, 10 days ought to be the limit.

Beyonce and Robin Quivers have shed pounds this way. Jared Leto also used this diet after he gained weight for a film role.

Symptoms include constant hunger, dizziness, fainting, grumpiness, and atrophied baby muscles. Here is the recipe:

- 2 Tbsp Lemon (approx ½ of a Lemon)
- 2 Tbsp Genuine Organic Maple Syrup (not Maple flavored sugar syrup you'd put on pancakes)
- 1/10 Tsp Cayenne pepper (red pepper)
- Ten oz. glass of hot water (cold can be used if preferred)
Beyonce tried the master cleanse so she could lose weight for Dreamgirls, but the entire time, she wanted some chicken fried steak. After ending said cleanse, she put the weight back on immediately.

Robin Quivers did the master cleanse and went from 218 to 145, but now eats vegan to maintain her weight.

Jared Leto got fat for a role in the film because he is sick of still being known as Jordan Catalano and wanted to be taken seriously. The film bombed. He then embarked on his journey and lost over 60 pounds.
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The Master Cleanse Diet 

A ridiculous diet made popular by celebs, especially Beyonce after she lost 20 pounds on it. Basically, you eat and drink nothing but lemon maple syrup water for at least ten days. Your body goes into starvation mode and you drop, like, FIFTY BAZILLION POUNDS. The recipe for the master cleanse juice is:

60 ounces of filtered water

12 Tablespoons of organic grade B maple syrup

12 Tablespoons of organic lemon juice

1/2 Teaspoon cayenne pepper powder

I've tried it once. ONCE. Nearly died; I felt as if I would never feel happy ever again (lol dementors)

I dropped about seven to nine pounds in on week, but felt like a living corpse. All I could do to avoid the hunger was sleep. All day. The mere mention of food or dining made me feral.
Pretentious Betch: Oh snap, I can't fit into these size 00 jeans. Time to guzzle some master cleanse!

Logical Size 4 Girl: The master cleanse diet? As in, to cleanse yourself of toxins? You're doing it to cleanse, right?

Pretentious Betch: Suuuuure am!
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