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horor scope

When someone is really into astrollogy, and goth, and wicca, and crystals, and is also generally kinda sexy and interesting, but also you just expect her to turn into some anchient witch and ride off on a broomstick at any second.
Damn, did you see that new girl at work? Bruh, she's a total Horor Scope, god damn it, not again... I can't do this shit again...
by boronanon September 7, 2022
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Horror-Scope

Mabey it would be about the zodiac killer, or have a realistic Capricorn impaling someone with its horns. Or have someone who drowned in an Aquarius slowly sinking down to the bottom of the screen as a swarm of Pisces nibbles their skin away. Oh! Or it could have a bunch of Scorpio crawling all over someone and stinging them with their stingers. Oh, it also could have a Leo eating someone WHOLE!! Okay that's it.

If anyone actually wants to make this "Horror-Scope" movie fell free to. Just be shore to credit "Botanical Gull" in the credits.
by Botanical Gull February 7, 2022
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Horoscope

Horoscope isn't real
by Dat🅱️oi March 21, 2020
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horoscope

A bunch of hokey pokey witchcraft made up by hippies.
There goes Madison again, reading her stupid horoscope for the day.
by Bobby Freakin Hill April 23, 2017
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horoscope

My Facebook friends spam my news feed with horoscopes and I just want to punch them in the face
by Falsifications August 20, 2016
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horoscope

A vague and nonspecific prediction of the future.
What you might find in your horoscope:

"You are somewhat tall"

"You will meet someone today and they will seem nice"

What you will not find in your horoscope:

"Today you will find out you are adopted, if not today then it is only a matter of time. Seriously, you look nothing like your so-called "parents." You will also lose your job, and an unspecified limb."

"Men in masks will break in to your home and force you to play trivial pursuit, the fact that they seem to get all the easy questions will irk you. Make ready, you will soon be called upon to defend the entire species from certain destruction."
by The Definitionizer December 9, 2006
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Horoscope

Telescope that can only see whores
"A horoscope, what's that a telescope that can only see your face..."
by Avocado_ Alien July 16, 2018
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