denis irwin

a former manchester united left back. also a successful erotic fiction writer. his literature can be found under the psedunym marilyn bastardhouse. currently living under the bridge plying his trade as an 18th century highwayman, denis recalls being a young boy struggling to make ends meet, 'i had no money until sir alex taught me water polo'

"look, there's denis irwin, gosh he's grown, he used to be the size of a 1st class stamp"