brown finger surprise

a person who is wiping one's self with a generic brand or a one-ply piece of toilet paper after defacating will often experience a brown finger surprise. a brown finger surprise is caused by ungraceful shoving of toilet paper into one's butt hole with such force that it will tear at the pressure points (fingers) thus causing left over excretments to lodge into one's fingernails or get stuck onto other parts of their finger. to avoid a brown finger surprise be sure to by two-ply or double or triple fold the one-ply sheets.

guy 1: hey what toilet paper do you use?
guy 2: oh i use *insert generic store brand of toilet paper here* all the time. its cheap.
guy 1: oh i used that once but was to lazy to triple up on the sheets and got a brown finger surprise. it was all stuck in my fingernails and i smelled literally like shit for my date
guy 2: oh dude that is horrible if you are really that lazy buy charmin it holds together nice
guy 1: well ever since then i have and no brown finger surprises
guy 2: nice

brown finger surprise by my name is a secret shhh December 2, 2010