brown finger surprise

a person who is wiping one's self with a generic brand or a one-ply piece of toilet paper after defacating will often experience a brown finger surprise. a brown finger surprise is caused by ungraceful shoving of toilet paper into one's butt hole with such force that it will tear at the pressure points (fingers) thus causing left over excretments to lodge into one's fingernails or get stuck onto other parts of their finger. to avoid a brown finger surprise be sure to by two-ply or double or triple fold the one-ply sheets.

guy 1: hey what toilet paper do you use?
guy 2: oh i use *insert generic store brand of toilet paper here* all the time. its cheap.
guy 1: oh i used that once but was to lazy to triple up on the sheets and got a brown finger surprise. it was all stuck in my fingernails and i smelled literally like shit for my date
guy 2: oh dude that is horrible if you are really that lazy buy charmin it holds together nice
guy 1: well ever since then i have and no brown finger surprises
guy 2: nice

brown finger surprise by my name is a secret shhh December 2, 2010

Get merch

Get the brown finger surprise mug.

See more merch

Stealthie

when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.

This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.

FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"

FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"

Stealthie by gwenhyfar October 2, 2016

Word of the Day on May 25, 2026

Get merch

Summer Teeth

When someone has a lot of missing teeth.

Mannn, that dude has summer teeth!
What do you mean?
Summer here, summer there...

Summer Teeth by BeckPot August 2, 2012

Word of the Day on May 24, 2026

Get merch

Grindset

The grindset is a contemporary ideology of self-exploitation disguised as strength, deeply tied to the aesthetics of the “sigma male” and to new digital forms of patriarchy. It promotes the idea that human worth depends on productivity, economic success, absolute emotional control, and the ability to work endlessly, turning vulnerability, rest, community, and tenderness into signs of weakness. Beneath its rhetoric of discipline and power often lies a profound inability to relate healthily to pain, fragility, and human interdependence.

“That’s the grindset, brother. While weak men sleep and complain, sigma males stay disciplined, work in silence, suppress emotions, and build power while everyone else wastes time chasing comfort.”

Grindset by Omega-Male May 22, 2026

Word of the Day on May 23, 2026

Get merch

jerb

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Word of the Day on May 22, 2026

Get merch

Cheeks

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

Word of the Day on May 21, 2026

Get merch

sans sheriff

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Word of the Day on May 20, 2026

Get merch